From Then to Now

Growing.
Thats what we are. We are growing. Everyday, whether we like it or not.

we're getting older, wiser, [prettier maybe? hehe] as each day passes us by.
I don't think I ever got the chance to tell you.. that its been an honor growing up with you. Be it physically, spiritually, emotionally[?] or probably mentally... [??]

We really have come a long way. From Sunday School, to games, to clothes, to make-up, to trips to the beach, to boys, to family, to now. All under the watchful eye of our Dad.

thank you. I don't think i'd be the person that I am today without you.

may we continue growing in the Lord.. together.ü

Family Portrait- Pink

Momma please stop cryin, I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful and its tearin' me down
I hear glasses breakin as I sit up in my bed
I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you said

You fight about money, bout me and my brother
And this I come home to, this is my shelter
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, you'll see
I don't want love to destroy me like it has done
my family

Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don'tleave

Daddy please stop yellin, I can't stand the sound
Make mama stop cryin, cuz I need you around
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says its true
I know that she hurts you, but remember
I love you too

I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have
no choice, no way

It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, well I've seen
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my family

Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave

In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comesnaturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays
I don't want two addresses
I don't want a step-brother anyways
And I don't want my mom to have to change her
last name

In our family portrait we look pretty happy
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally..

Daddy don't leave
Turn around please
Remember that the night you left you took my shining star?
Daddy don't leave
Don't leave us here alone

Mom will be nicer
I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother
Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night


**Although this song exaggerates it a bit.. strangely, i find myself relating to the lyrics..
*sigh*
Things are gonna get better..

"I can do all things through Christ Who gives me strength..."
-Philippians 4:13

Congratulations.

congratulations to me.. ^___^

3 whole days in camp, and my phone still exists!

w00t! landmark.

She's back and ready for anything!

a few days after Deb got baptised she wakes up one morning and opens her trusty computer.
she logs-in onto ym.. and does her usual routine online..

check mail
chat with people
deviant art
gaia
friendster
multiply
and blogspot..

after about an hour, Deb's cousin pings her and chats with her. He forces her to come visit him in Australia. He asks her how shes been and she says shes exhausted because she just came from youth camp.
Curious, deb's cousin asks what its for and what its about.. and quite strangely. The topic shifts to Christianity..

:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:29:44 PM): You a rather religious person?
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:30:53 PM): say it loud, say it proud. yes. I am a Christian Girl
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:31:17 PM): lulz
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:32:55 PM): I'm not
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:33:06 PM): i see
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:33:21 PM): Religion hasn't done much for me
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:33:31 PM): how so?
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:33:49 PM): Well what has it done for me?
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:35:41 PM): its not what has it done for you..
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:35:47 PM): besides cousin dear
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:35:51 PM): youd have to understand..
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:36:10 PM): that the diff bet. my religion from all other religions is that,
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:36:15 PM): its not really a religion
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:36:21 PM): its a relationship..

and thats how their heated debate on whether God or Heaven exsisted or not started.
Inside her head, deb was excited. Its been two days since she got baptised and God has already put her to the test.. but deb is also somehow afraid. Her cousin is very stubborn and she knows that he hates to loose. So she prays hard for God to work in and through her to be a good witness to her cousin..

she might not get to convince him now.. but hopefully someday.. she will.
Deb knows that probbably right now her cousin despises her. Deb does not want to offend her cousin in anyway.. but somehow she thinks she has. She prays that somehow God will perform a miracle to change her cousin's heart.

Deb is certain that if her God can calm storms and raise people from the dead.. then that same God can move hearts and change lives.

:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:57:44 PM): the bible is full of s***
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:57:56 PM): hahah dont say that
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:58:04 PM): The old mainly though
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:58:24 PM): haha i know to you it sounds like nonesense
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:58:31 PM): i mean that what i thought too before
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:58:55 PM): its just a couple of bible stories about some guy who performed a few unbelievable things.. so what?
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:17 PM): but you know what i ve learned?
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:59:24 PM): Not really, no.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:28 PM): that.. the bible is a loooooooooooooooong love letter
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:31 PM): to me
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:40 PM): to MEEEE
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:59:44 PM): lol
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:59:49 PM): Filos are crazy... x]
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:57 PM): haha hey, you're half filo
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:00:01 PM): so yer half crazy
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:00:07 PM): but seriously
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:00:17 PM): its answered a lot of questions for me
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:00:17 PM): yeah but Half sane too
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:00:33 PM): and its comforted me when nobody with skin on could comfort me
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:01:39 PM): Not to mention everyone giving me the whole "God must have something planned and s'he must have something greater planned"
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:02:05 PM): haha why what are your ideas on that?
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:02:35 PM): "God stole my dad... What a dick!"
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:03:10 PM): he did not steal Him Demir.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:03:21 PM): He brought him Home.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:03:38 PM): beacause we are but passer-bys on this earth
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:03:45 PM): Considering what my dad went through I don't think I want to go "Home"
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:03:49 PM): i mean.. who HASN't DIED
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:04:06 PM): well God did your dad a favor
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:04:20 PM): because he knew what your dad was going through
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:04:34 PM): and He didnt want to see your dad suffer anymore. So, He just called him to come home.
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:05:23 PM): I prefer the idea that heaven doesn't exist
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:05:29 PM): And this is where we are
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:05:31 PM): And where we will be
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:05:36 PM): but haven't you ever thought about where are we gonna go when we die?
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:06:10 PM): No. Seems like if "God" is willing to forgive everyone s/he must have preeeettty low standards
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:06:39 PM): he is not willing to forgive everyone
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:06:45 PM): he HATES sin
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:06:54 PM): He hates unrighteous people
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:07:07 PM): we were all condemned to suffer in the lake of fire
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:07:13 PM): but..
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:07:26 PM): then. he Loves us (no.. God is not gay.)
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:07:48 PM): haha
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:07:56 PM): he Loves us so much, that he did not want to see His creation suffer in hell
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:03 PM): so he sent his Son.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:08 PM): his ONLY Son
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:10 PM): to die
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:08:15 PM): He's god.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:18 PM): for all of us
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:08:20 PM): I'm sure he can make another one
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:08:38 PM): God blew his load
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:08:39 PM): Funny
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:50 PM): but dont you find that sad
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:56 PM): in order for humanity to be saved
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:09:12 PM): he sacrificed His only son to die for everyone
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:09:35 PM): i dont know about you.. but if i had to sacrifice my son.. i know i cant do it
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:11:36 PM): Meh
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:11:48 PM): yeah..
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:11:56 PM): you know what
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:12:02 PM): lets drop the topic first
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:12:07 PM): Nah
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:12:12 PM): I like this topic
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:12:17 PM): ohh.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:12:19 PM): ok then

was that a beam of light? A sign of hope? He said he liked the topic. I dont know if its was because he wanted to bring Deb down or he wanted to hear more.. but Deb was sure this was God's doing.

:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:31:28 PM): I kinda reached a point where I started believing that religion isn't real and that people needed a way to control the masses
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:31:32 PM): Think of it.
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:31:45 PM): There's a Big invisible guy in the sky watching over you
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:31:56 PM): If you're a bad person then you will burn in hell
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:32:06 PM): But if you're a good person then you shall go to paradise after you die
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:32:13 PM): It's a way of controling people
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:32:18 PM): Scare tactic
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:32:34 PM):haha
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:32:50 PM): youd have to understand demir
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:32:54 PM): EVERYONE IS BAD!
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:04 PM): even the person who you think is good
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:25 PM): he or she will mess up at some point
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:41 PM): and since we're all bad
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:33:44 PM): It's just something my friend and I were talking about
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:47 PM): we're all going to hell
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:57 PM): but since God doesnt want us to go to hell
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:34:05 PM): he sacrificed his own to save us
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:34:10 PM): so we could all be in heaven
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:34:24 PM): there is no such thing as you have to do good to get to heaven
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:34:26 PM): I could have swore that was something to do with Original Sin...
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:34:34 PM): or if you do bad things you'll go to hell
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:01 PM): its like a clean sheet of paper
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:19 PM): you take a pencil and doodle on the clean sheet of paper
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:38 PM): but then here comes God with his giant magic eraser..
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:35:46 PM): then the sheet slowly turns black and melts into the floor
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:47 PM): He erases the mess then your paper is as good as new!
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:53 PM): haha
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:35:56 PM): And you hear fires and a squeal!
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:36:56 PM): ...hell is a topic not to be made fun of
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:37:10 PM): hell is real
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:37:16 PM): and the devil is real
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:38:40 PM): satan is locked away in some place waiting for the day of his release
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:38:56 PM): and when that day comes.. all hell will break loose. and i mean literally
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:39:03 PM): but the thing is
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:39:10 PM): satan is condemned to loose
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:39:13 PM): and he knows that
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:39:33 PM): so he trys to find ways of making people believe there isnt a God
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:39:59 PM): Can't believe in satan if youdon't believe in god
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:40:04 PM): or he messes up their idea of Him.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:40:29 PM): well if thats what you think
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:40:45 PM): then.. too bad i guess
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:40:59 PM): Heheheh can't hurt me if it's not real
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:41:31 PM): whatever you say cousin..
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:41:46 PM): enjoy disappointment when you kick the bucket haha
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:41:59 PM): oh well.. XP if ever you have any more questions about the topic.. im an IM away.ü

In the end. Deb did not succeed in changing her cousin's mind.. but it was understandable.. no one could change that fast.
Deb's cousin was hard to talk to.. since he could be a bit discouraging with words.. but Deb's spirit is not crushed. Deb is challenged. All of a sudden she has a burden to minister to her cousin..

Deb is praying for God to help her. She asks everone to pray with her. Pray that God might grant her wisdom in speech and she would glorify Him, and that Deb's cousin might have a change of heart.
Deb will greatly appreciate it.ü

Realizations

Camp is a few days away na pala..

YOU KNOW WHAT JUST HIT ME?!

Its the fact that everytime something or someone is drawing my attention AWAY from God..
He takes it away.

first (and second) was my phone..
and then Lord-knows-what (or who :P)

wala lang..
I just hope I dont loose anything this time. XD

Birthday Boy

happy buhday Jared, brother dear.ü

"Confused Yet Hoping"

God,

I dont fully understand, but I am putting my complete faith in You.

Lord, I love them. You know I do.. so I leave everything in Your Hands. I know you're going to work things out, make things right again. Just as you always do.

Im a bit afraid though.. im still doubting. But God, If this is not from you.. then take it away. I know you are bigger and greater than all of these things.. so who am I to even feel this way. I have no right Lord.

If You can move mountains, calm raging storms and raise people from the dead.. then I know you can touch hearts of stone, move people, mend broken relationships, bring back trust and make families whole again.

I know what I am saying is a bit out of line and selfish of me.. but you know Lord how much I love them. I know you love them even more than I do..

If there is a lesson to learn or a sin to avoid.. let it be known God, that this fighting would stop.

I dont get it God. One mistake. And that will cause them to stop talking to each other? now they cant stand being in the same room? and they pass each other by like complete strangers?

I dont want to see them like this.

All this childish-nonesense and bitterness. It all seems too familiar. Yet in someway, it is different.
A different commitment. A different responsibility.

I know that there is a reason for all of this.. so I'll just trust You God.

In Jesus' Name..

Amen

Beach stories

well, basically i wanted to make a post about 3 things I experienced (or learned) during my holy week vacation.

• "We're all under the same sky... and the world has conspired us to be together."
• Jumping off cliffs is like trusting God
• "If sunsets remain forever, there would be no new days."

seeing that Rebeks already made a post on the 1st one (check out her blog: http://20six.co.uk/dayoff/art/609950)
and then I made an article on the 2nd so I guess all thats left is the last part..

(first.. some lyrics!)

All Good Things (Come To An End)- Nelly Furtado

Honestly what will become of me
Don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

(*)Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

(*)

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die

(*)

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day'til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling and the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die...

Lets face it, no matter how beautiful something is... It always has to end at somepoint in time. If beauty stayed forever, then it wouldn't really be beautiful anymore, you would probbably get fed up looking at it, as Beks told me during our chat, whats the use of having something stay the same, when its not as beautiful as it was the first look.

Like sunsets. Even if you want it to stay forever, you can't. because if you do.. then there would be no tomorrow. And if there was no tomorrow, how can we start anew?

but we'd have to admit.. sometimes we wish that some good things will never end.
Like love or friendship..
so now i wonder..

Is it actually possible for these things to end?
Can love between two people one day, disappear?
Can two paths that God allowed to meet, part ways at some point in time?

I hope I never find the answers to those questions.

because if I do.. then i would wish that these beautiful things that would never end..

never should've even started.
*sigh*

That One Step

*another article I made for Jchron. enjoy!

Have you ever heard of the saying “Take a leap of faith”? Meaning, to let go of whatever is holding you back and just go for it. Well, I believe I have lived up to that statement.

I had the pleasure of spending my Holy Week in Batangas with my family and some close friends a few weeks ago. And as a part of our trip, Tito Jack took us to a nearby island to go cliff diving.
Now I know what you’re all thinking... “Oooh! Cliff diving!” But let me tell you, it is not as easy as it sounds.
Sure it seems fun, jumping off a 20-foot cliff with no life vest on and only the vicious ocean and its waves waiting for at the bottom, but really. Once you’re up there… it’ll seem like the longest 60-seconds of your life.

So there I was. 20 feet above the air and my knees shaking like jackhammers. At that moment it was as if time stood still. There would be times when I could feel my legs twitch, signaling me to jump. But they were brief so the fear would start to kick in and my legs wouldn’t budge again. I had a “good” and “bad” (ok, not necessarily bad) conscience that time. My good conscience was Ate Mika, (my discipler) who was saying:
“Debbie, we don’t have to do this now, we could just get off this 1st cliff (aka- a gimongous ROCK) and swim back to the boat.”
Then there’s the “other” conscience- Bekah, Nico, and Mackey; who were all waiting for me at the bottom (incase I “drown” again, but that’s another story ;p) telling me:
“DEB! YOU ARE GOING TO MISS HALF OF YOUR LIFE IF YOU DON’T JUMP NOW AND WE ASSURE YOU THAT YOU’LL REGRET IT!!! SO JUMP NOW!!”

“Arrrggh!!” was all I could reply to both. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to do this. I really wanted to jump. But problem was, my fear and doubt of Lord-knows-what was taking over and was making me pull back.

Then all the way out in the middle of the ocean I could hear my dad and Tito Jack cry out.
“Its just one step Debs. One step and it’ll all be over.” My dad said.
Then Tito Jack adds “just look where you wanna land, look into the horizon, and jump!”

Now, before I tell you the rest of my story, let’s contemplate a bit.
Was there ever something in your life you wanted done, but never got enough guts to take that one step of faith?
What held you back? Was it fear? Fear of getting hurt or fear of what other people might think of you? Or was it doubt? Those constant “what if…” questions that run in your head?
Well whatever it is, let it go. Because seriously, who are we to doubt? We have an all-powerful, all-knowing, and compassionate God, who will make sure everything goes His way. Why His way? Because having things done OUR way sucks.
Let me put it this way, have you ever tried swimming in the ocean when the tide is high and the waves are rough? Well I have. I tried swimming in the ocean using MY style. I tried conquering the wave instead of just being one with it. Because really, you CAN’T fight a wave, it’s too strong. So instead of fighting it, be one with it. Adjust, put aside your swimming style and change it to match the flow of the waves so that you wouldn’t wear yourself out and drown. (hehe. Love you Rebeks! ^_^)

His ways are perfect. We may not like them sometimes, but He assures us that they are for the best.


Hey, even Jesus was afraid to die the night they arrested Him. He even begged His Almighty Father to spare Him. But then- He knew that in order for God’s plan to save mankind to be fulfilled. He had to set aside His fear and fully trust in His Father.

In the words of King David:
“The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strong hold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?” (Ps. 27:1)

Then there’s what Tito Jack said: “just look where you wanna land, look into the horizon and jump”
If I’m going to trust God, all I have to do is look forward and let myself go.

And I did.
Yes, I did jump. And I’m glad I did.
Yeah, it took me longer than expected (more like 20 mins!!) and considering the fact that the fall was the longest 2 seconds of my life with the question screaming in my head “When am I gonna hit the water?!?!?”
And goodness, I did NOT look pretty doing it. (go ahead, ask me!! :p)

But who cares right?! I jumped! And that’s all that matters! So in the end it was all worth it.


All until I came out of the water gasping for air yelling: “ANG SAKIT NG PWET KO!!!” Xb

Getting back to Basics

w00t! first official week of summer!

It hasn't really started yet, but boy, am I exhausted.. so many things to do.. so many places to go.. yet so little time. (you should see my planner)
Im keeping myself busy these days, and i happen to like it. (just like how i happend to like being bitter, but that was a looong time ago, thank God im over it. XP) Its no wonder i get sick easily.. but anywho i guess its ok, because it helps me stay focused.

But lately, i've asked myself.. what AM i focused on.. really?
Yeah, sure "he's" finally out of the picture.. so basically my world doesn't revolve around him anymore.

But with the way i'm living my life.. I wonder..

Does my world revolve around the Person it should be revolving around?Or am I too busy keeping myself busy that I forgot the sole purpose why im trying to keep myself busy?
wait.. that sounds redundant.

anyway, main point is:
I think i've been too caught up in my own world (as usual) that God is slowly getting out of the picture. Maybe.. just maybe, thats the reason why my life is so...

uhh.. whats the word im looking for?

..plain?

*haii* i guess if i really wanna move forward I should refocus my life, and start living it the way He would want me to live it.

I wanna fall in love with you all over again...