Ending Story

My blockmate made this after I told him my story about my past life. He was so inspired that he wrote a song about it.

(*copied from my his multiply blog)

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"The song was inspired by a true story that I heard. However, unlike "Hindi ka mababasa" which was paraded as 'Inspired by the rain and by Peter Ramirez,' this song is a lot more serious and so I won't reveal the identity/identities of the person/persons involved. If it's not obvious to you in the lyrics, there WAS a level of trust during the telling of the story. The Ending Story. . "

Can you blame me
if when I look into your eyes, seems like all I see
are the fragments of our past, our shattered
memories?
Remembering the things that we

decided we would leave behind.
But I can’t get them out of my mind.

Can you blame me
if when I see you smile I know that it’s
all over,
the things we had before we learned to to wonder,
before we learned to dream?
Because now

our fantasy world is gone.
I wish we never left the real one.

And all I wanted and all I knew was to be a fool and to be with you.
And now all I’m remembering is our never ending story.
Can you blame me?

It makes you wonder how we could be so wrong
from friends to lovers. We knew it all along. And now it’s over
and sometimes I find that though
our feelings were all justified,
I wish we had strength to hide them.

Because all I wanted and all I knew was to be a fool and to be with you.
And now all I’m remembering is our never ending story.
Can you blame me?

You don’t have to worry.
I know this is how it ends and how we want it to be.
So let me keep forever, let me remember you and me.

Because all I wanted and all I knew was to be a fool and to be with you.
And now all I’m remembering is our never ending story.
Can you blame me?

Can you blame me?

*if you are also wondering why the title is "Ending Story" while in the song itself I say "...never ending story," it's because I wanted to show that while the persona says that the story is never ending, the whole song is actually a goodbye.

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To Luna's [their band] :
I hope you go places. Thank you. I have a song to call my own.

*Music and Lyrics by Luna's
Not download-able on Limewire. [or any other network-sharing service] No line-stealing without the permission of the writer. hehe. (*ehem* plagarism, hija.)

PIRACY IS WRONG.

The Heart's Reply

"You don't know how it feels when there's no one to lean on, no hand to hold, no shoulder to cry on, no one to laugh with, no one to fill that hole in your heart...

I'm like this now because I long for love and attention, but I end up just being ignored and rejected. Betrayed and neglected. Lonely. Alone.
Although I know I'm not... but when you look around and realize things aren't the same, there are too many problems and complications these days, and there's no one who can understand and change that for you...

You can't help but feel that way,
you can't help but feel unloved..."

I Killed Someone

I thought I got rid of her. I distinctly remember burying her alive in some far away place that I could never find again. I thought that was the last time I'd see her.

But after 3 years without her... Three long, happy and eventful years. I'm shocked to see her back from the dead to haunt me once again.
She isn't some walking corpse or a zombie. No, she is alive, she is aware, and she is back with a vengance.

She follows me around everywhere. I try to avoid her and ignore her, but in some way she ends up finding me. I try not to let my friends see her, so I wouldn't have to introduce her. But she pops out when I least expect it.
She torments me, she manipulates me. Day and night, night and day. She makes me rebel against my parents, hate my brother, despise my friends. She makes me say all these nasty things and think of these ill thoughts. She makes me feel dirty. She brings out the worst in me and makes me do the things I do not want to do, and then she leaves me to fend for myself after. She hurts me until I am left crying. She pushes me down so hard that I do not want to get back up.

When i've failed, she laughs at me. Oh how I hate that laugh. The sound of her mocking voice and her ireful stare. It makes me cringe. It drives me insane.

I think I am insane, or at least, she makes me feel that way.

When I feel pressured, she adds to the stress. She made me forget my First Love once, and knowing her, she can do that again.

One night, I get up from my bed and decide that enough is enough. Surprisingly, I see her there beside me. She's been waiting for me to get to sleep. She's the cause of all my nightmares. My grief. She destroys my self-esteem.

I look directly at her. Into her eyes. Her evil grin turns into a frightened scowl.

"You are nothing. You are not important. You do not matter."
This is what I tell her. She shifts her eyes and starts to get mad. Just before she tries to fend for herself, I continue.

"You're life is not your own. You have been selfish. Arrogant. Self-centered. Mean, and you know nothing at all. You are a hypocrite. A failure. You are a jealous, conceited and immature person. You are immoral. A wretch. You are a sinner."

At that moment, her eyes turn red and her mouth closes. Tears began to form in her eyes.

"You are all of these things.." I go on,
"...and yet, you are not judged. You are loved. Unconditionally, with an everlasting love. You are forgiven. You are saved."

Her eyes begin to gleam. I ask her, "And isn't thjat enough to stop tormenting ourselves? To stop living our lives the wrong way? Isn't that enough reason to completely turn around? For you to just leave me alone, once and for all... and die?"

She smiles. But it isn't like before. She smiles in agreement. She nods her head once. She begings to weep, heavily, until I see her drowning in her own tears.
The next thing I knew, she was gone. Her body washed away with the limpid, salty water.


I haven't seen her since.


Despite all of the things she made me do in the past. I am grateful, because through her, I realized how sinful I truly was. How far i've gone from Daddy. How much I've missed the mark.

These days, when I look into the mirror. I still see her..
But only from time to time, because..

The old Deb has gone, and I am a new creation... ü