Whatever I said before about having a not-so-great Semestral Break...
Forget it. I had the complete opposite.
From the retreat, to the hotel, to my birthday, to shopping, to party, to my surprise.
I made new friends, bonded with old ones- and made my friendship with them stronger, rekindled the Flame, laughed, cried, and somewhere along the way, was swept off my feet by my GB.
okay, i exaggerated the last part. :P (but i sure do wish...)
Hay.. there is just so much Peace and Joy in my heart that I want to share it everyone..
Well, what do you know...?
"Praise God I was wrong." is all I can say. :D
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Grateful
Hay..
Its just so hard...
When you have so many wonderful friends.ü
I thank God for every single one of you, for allowing our paths to meet. Bless your sweet hearts.ü
Love you guys! God bless.(I just felt like i needed to get that off my chest.. :D)
Its just so hard...
When you have so many wonderful friends.ü
I thank God for every single one of you, for allowing our paths to meet. Bless your sweet hearts.ü
Love you guys! God bless.(I just felt like i needed to get that off my chest.. :D)
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Here In My Life
I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet but
At your Word Lord, I’ll receive Your
Faith to walk on oceans deep
And I remember how You found me
In that very same place
All my failing surely would've drowned me
But You made a way
You are my freedom
Jesus you’re the reason
I’m kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life?
You have said that all the heavens
Sing for joy at one who finds
The way to freedom, truth of Jesus
Bought from death into His life
And I remember how You saw me
Through the eyes of Your grace
And though the cost was Your beloved for me
Still you made a way
Felt the waves beneath my feet but
At your Word Lord, I’ll receive Your
Faith to walk on oceans deep
And I remember how You found me
In that very same place
All my failing surely would've drowned me
But You made a way
You are my freedom
Jesus you’re the reason
I’m kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life?
You have said that all the heavens
Sing for joy at one who finds
The way to freedom, truth of Jesus
Bought from death into His life
And I remember how You saw me
Through the eyes of Your grace
And though the cost was Your beloved for me
Still you made a way
Thursday, October 25, 2007
I feel old.
My birthday is coming up
(6 days to the 1st of November)
Though I don't really feel that it is.
I want to arrange celebrations, but sadly Im not sure if I can- no time, and we might not be able to afford it.
i'm missing a lot of people, and just seeing them and being with them is a good enough present for me.
But, putting aside all the drama, I feel satisfied today. This week was one of the most exciting ones I've ever had.
No classes, we won our debate, we even performed well during today's concert/musical presentation which was our quarterly test in music- despite the fact that we didn't practice much. Plus, its sembreak already and when we get back to school on Nov. 5 it'll be the start of our sportsfest.
Im quite doubtful that i'll have an awesome sembreak ,though.
Boy, I sure hope im wrong.
(6 days to the 1st of November)
Though I don't really feel that it is.
I want to arrange celebrations, but sadly Im not sure if I can- no time, and we might not be able to afford it.
i'm missing a lot of people, and just seeing them and being with them is a good enough present for me.
But, putting aside all the drama, I feel satisfied today. This week was one of the most exciting ones I've ever had.
No classes, we won our debate, we even performed well during today's concert/musical presentation which was our quarterly test in music- despite the fact that we didn't practice much. Plus, its sembreak already and when we get back to school on Nov. 5 it'll be the start of our sportsfest.
Im quite doubtful that i'll have an awesome sembreak ,though.
Boy, I sure hope im wrong.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
And God Spoke...
"Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my Yoke is easy and my burden is light."
-Matthew 11: 28-30
God has left me in awe once again.
Just yesterday I cried myself to sleep because I wanted peace, and just this day He has granted me just that.
As God watched me sleep He sent a vision to my Values Ed. teacher.
The next morning that teacher look everywhere for me, until he found me and relayed to me his dream.
He told me that it was very brief: a picture of me on a stetcher- dead. The doctor said it was due to over-fatigue, stress.. and some medical terms he forgot.
He then laid his hand on my head and prayed for me- I couldn't hold back my tears.
As he did, I felt God wrap His arms around me telling me " I'm here princess, you don't have to worry about a thing."
The main reason why I was crying is not that i was afraid of his vision, but i was amazed how God answered my prayer so quickly.
Not only has He given me peace, but He gave me joy as well.
All Glory and Honor and Praise be unto Him.ü
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my Yoke is easy and my burden is light."
-Matthew 11: 28-30
God has left me in awe once again.
Just yesterday I cried myself to sleep because I wanted peace, and just this day He has granted me just that.
As God watched me sleep He sent a vision to my Values Ed. teacher.
The next morning that teacher look everywhere for me, until he found me and relayed to me his dream.
He told me that it was very brief: a picture of me on a stetcher- dead. The doctor said it was due to over-fatigue, stress.. and some medical terms he forgot.
He then laid his hand on my head and prayed for me- I couldn't hold back my tears.
As he did, I felt God wrap His arms around me telling me " I'm here princess, you don't have to worry about a thing."
The main reason why I was crying is not that i was afraid of his vision, but i was amazed how God answered my prayer so quickly.
Not only has He given me peace, but He gave me joy as well.
All Glory and Honor and Praise be unto Him.ü
Monday, October 22, 2007
My heart is weary.
Im tired.
So many things to do. People to talk to. Places to go. Tests to take. Plans to fulfill.
My strength is slowly begining to fail me. My spirit- getting weaker by the moment.
Im afraid that one of these days my body just won't be able to take it anymore and give up.
Even my skin is starting to cave in.
I long for peace. Peace within my soul. At the moment.. God seems so distant. Im realizing that lately i've been relying on my own strengths rather than trusting Him.
I hope i haven't drifted too far away from Him..
"God, i know you're there, and i'm sorry I haven't been trusting You. I know that without You, I am nothing... So I ask that You grant me peace. Let my mind be at ease, let my soul rest in You. Comfort my weary heart, Lord. Renew my strength and grant me wisdom in the things i do and say. let my speech and actions always reflect You. May You always be glorified in my life, Lord.
Im sorry. I love you.. I really do, Lord. Help me..
In Jesus' Name,
Amen."
So many things to do. People to talk to. Places to go. Tests to take. Plans to fulfill.
My strength is slowly begining to fail me. My spirit- getting weaker by the moment.
Im afraid that one of these days my body just won't be able to take it anymore and give up.
Even my skin is starting to cave in.
I long for peace. Peace within my soul. At the moment.. God seems so distant. Im realizing that lately i've been relying on my own strengths rather than trusting Him.
I hope i haven't drifted too far away from Him..
"God, i know you're there, and i'm sorry I haven't been trusting You. I know that without You, I am nothing... So I ask that You grant me peace. Let my mind be at ease, let my soul rest in You. Comfort my weary heart, Lord. Renew my strength and grant me wisdom in the things i do and say. let my speech and actions always reflect You. May You always be glorified in my life, Lord.
Im sorry. I love you.. I really do, Lord. Help me..
In Jesus' Name,
Amen."
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
It's Only Getting Better
Is it that time again?
It was on this day when I decided that I've had enough..
No more being a hopeless romantic, no more wishing of something that might not happen, no more tears and cold nights.
Today, I celebrate one year of being Joyfully, Productively and Creatively single.
I remember a year ago when I made this decision. I was worried how things would turn out.
But now.. I look back, and i just laugh.. It was really such a silly thing to cry about. because seeing how my life is now..
I couldn't be any happier...
And I can't wait to see what other things God has in store for me.
Happy Anniversary to me.ü
It was on this day when I decided that I've had enough..
No more being a hopeless romantic, no more wishing of something that might not happen, no more tears and cold nights.
Today, I celebrate one year of being Joyfully, Productively and Creatively single.
I remember a year ago when I made this decision. I was worried how things would turn out.
But now.. I look back, and i just laugh.. It was really such a silly thing to cry about. because seeing how my life is now..
I couldn't be any happier...
And I can't wait to see what other things God has in store for me.
Happy Anniversary to me.ü
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
She said what?!
A certain someone once asked me if I was going to do a commercial because another someone told her I was..
and I was all.. "What? Sino may sabi?"
"Wala.. chismis lang"
Call me overreacting, but this is what I don't like about gossip. Don't get me wrong. I'm not pointing my finger at anyone here, this idea just came out after the whole thing happend.
In Ephesians 4:29 the bible teaches us to use our tongues to edify. ("Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benifit those who listen.") This basically means; and I quote from the age-old saying: "If you don't have anything GOOD to say, then don't say anything at all."
Lucky for me, the "chismis" wasn't really malicious.
But.. what if it was?
Well.. as I have learned in a family devotion once, gossip is a form of lying.
When we withhold information from others.. or exaggerate a story.. we are in sin.
Why? because we bear false against our neighbors. ("Now where did I hear that again?"- check out: Exo. 20:16) And what we fail to realize is that our lying can affect a lot of people! And instead of bringing each other up, our gossip tends to pull each other down. And as I have learned what you say can really go a long way. (talking from my "300" movie experience - don't ask) Sometimes we don't even mean to mislead others.. but because someone at some point added or subtracted information.. not only do WE get misled, but we mislead others.
Ever wonder why the gossip column page on magazines or the gossip segments on tv shows all talk about the negative things a person has done? Lets face it: we like to talk about other people, but we don't want other people to talk about US.
As my dad reminds my brother and myself sometimes:
"What's the matter? You dish it out, but you can't take it in?"
So how do we avoid being gossiped about?
It has to start with US. I remeber my mom telling me "If you don't want people to talk about you, then don't talk about them!" I have a theory.. that if everyone [as in EVERYONE meaning, nobody is excluded..] applies this, we can all get rid of gossip once and for all.
Let us strive to build each other up, and not pull them down with our words..
"So each of you must get rid of your lying. (*including gossip!*) Speak the truth to your neighbor. We are all parts of one body." - Ephesians 4:25
Oh, and.. for your information..
I am NOT doing a commercial. :P
and I was all.. "What? Sino may sabi?"
"Wala.. chismis lang"
Call me overreacting, but this is what I don't like about gossip. Don't get me wrong. I'm not pointing my finger at anyone here, this idea just came out after the whole thing happend.
In Ephesians 4:29 the bible teaches us to use our tongues to edify. ("Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benifit those who listen.") This basically means; and I quote from the age-old saying: "If you don't have anything GOOD to say, then don't say anything at all."
Lucky for me, the "chismis" wasn't really malicious.
But.. what if it was?
Well.. as I have learned in a family devotion once, gossip is a form of lying.
When we withhold information from others.. or exaggerate a story.. we are in sin.
Why? because we bear false against our neighbors. ("Now where did I hear that again?"- check out: Exo. 20:16) And what we fail to realize is that our lying can affect a lot of people! And instead of bringing each other up, our gossip tends to pull each other down. And as I have learned what you say can really go a long way. (talking from my "300" movie experience - don't ask) Sometimes we don't even mean to mislead others.. but because someone at some point added or subtracted information.. not only do WE get misled, but we mislead others.
Ever wonder why the gossip column page on magazines or the gossip segments on tv shows all talk about the negative things a person has done? Lets face it: we like to talk about other people, but we don't want other people to talk about US.
As my dad reminds my brother and myself sometimes:
"What's the matter? You dish it out, but you can't take it in?"
So how do we avoid being gossiped about?
It has to start with US. I remeber my mom telling me "If you don't want people to talk about you, then don't talk about them!" I have a theory.. that if everyone [as in EVERYONE meaning, nobody is excluded..] applies this, we can all get rid of gossip once and for all.
Let us strive to build each other up, and not pull them down with our words..
"So each of you must get rid of your lying. (*including gossip!*) Speak the truth to your neighbor. We are all parts of one body." - Ephesians 4:25
Oh, and.. for your information..
I am NOT doing a commercial. :P
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Are You Lonesome Tonight?
**taken from my old devotional notes from "Make Your Day Count" [devotions for teens]
*I was going through my old devotional and message notes and I found this.. I thought I could just put it on here, seeing I don't have that much "inspiration" these days.. T___T
-dated: Aug. 2006 (*gasp!* --> bitter)
dedicated to them lonely people out there. [you know who you are] :D
"May your unfailing love be my comfort,
according to your promise to your servant."
-Psalm 119:76
Maybe you've heard of Elvis Presley's song "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" But did you know that you can be alone without being lonely?Being alone and spending time with God is always a pleasure. He's always with you. When You draw nearer to Him, He draws nearer to you.
**There is a difference between being alone, and being lonely;
Alone means: to be separate, apart, or isolated from others.
While lonely is: being affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.
You are never really alone. The Holy Spirit lives right inside you and is with you wherever you go! In Matthew 28:20 Jesus says, "I am with you always, even to the end of the age." And in Hebrews 13:5 He says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Wherever you go, He is with you.
**Knowing the fact that we are never alone gives us no right to be lonely at all! Because when you feel lonely, its as if you are denying the fact that Jesus is with you. You refuse to accept that He knows what you're going through, and He loves you with a perfect love.. So perfect, you do not need "anybody with skin on"
Maybe you don't have a boyfriend of a girlfriend right now. Maybe you've just broken up with someone and you are lonely. Jesus promised in John 14:18 that He wouldn't leave you comfortless, and in verse 16, He says that He has asked God to give you another Comforter. You can lean on Him when you need comfort.
Being alone doesn't have to mean you are lonesome. God cares. So go to Him.
*I was going through my old devotional and message notes and I found this.. I thought I could just put it on here, seeing I don't have that much "inspiration" these days.. T___T
-dated: Aug. 2006 (*gasp!* --> bitter)
dedicated to them lonely people out there. [you know who you are] :D
"May your unfailing love be my comfort,
according to your promise to your servant."
-Psalm 119:76
Maybe you've heard of Elvis Presley's song "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" But did you know that you can be alone without being lonely?Being alone and spending time with God is always a pleasure. He's always with you. When You draw nearer to Him, He draws nearer to you.
**There is a difference between being alone, and being lonely;
Alone means: to be separate, apart, or isolated from others.
While lonely is: being affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.
You are never really alone. The Holy Spirit lives right inside you and is with you wherever you go! In Matthew 28:20 Jesus says, "I am with you always, even to the end of the age." And in Hebrews 13:5 He says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Wherever you go, He is with you.
**Knowing the fact that we are never alone gives us no right to be lonely at all! Because when you feel lonely, its as if you are denying the fact that Jesus is with you. You refuse to accept that He knows what you're going through, and He loves you with a perfect love.. So perfect, you do not need "anybody with skin on"
Maybe you don't have a boyfriend of a girlfriend right now. Maybe you've just broken up with someone and you are lonely. Jesus promised in John 14:18 that He wouldn't leave you comfortless, and in verse 16, He says that He has asked God to give you another Comforter. You can lean on Him when you need comfort.
Being alone doesn't have to mean you are lonesome. God cares. So go to Him.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Nostalgia and Worries...
Walks on the beach, watching the sunset, staying up late, star-gazing, and massages..
these are only few of the things I miss the most.
Normally, I would say 'I'm going to miss..' but this summer was different. This summer I didn't get to go to the beach much; I wasn't even allowed to get out of the house. T__T
Just before school was about to end, I looked forward to numerous beach trips and just relaxing the day away..
And now that school is about to start again, I hang my head low in knowing the fact that my summers aren't what they used to be..
I guess I just got used to the fact that my summers were usually more.. EXCITING than what I had this year. Not that i'm complaining, or anything. It still was fun and all.. but not as adventurous as they were before.
In a nutshell, here's what I did during my summer:
I had 2 months of just getting up, eating, eating, eating, and sleeping. *ugh*
And now that its about to end I have yet to look forward to books, lectures and more books. Not to mention countless SC meeting, numerous application forms to fill out, schools to go to, tests to answer.. etc. etc. etc.
*double ugh*
Hassle, pare..
I have a feeling that this school year is going to get rough. Considering the fact that I'm the President of the Student Council, and that I find a way to keep my grades up. I'm going to have a hard time balancing my sched out.
(*So help me, God*)
Then theres the College Entrance Exams, but even before I can take that.. I have to fill out a "few" application forms and blah blah blah.. (oh the pressure.. T___T")
Can't you tell that I'm a nervous wreck?
To be honest, i shouldn't be nervous at all. I took a really expensive review class [Brain Train] which according to them, if I take it.. there may be an 85% chance I can still get into my dream school: The University of the Philippines. (ok ok.. i just made the percentage up. But they say that it'll help me.. somehow.)
Frankly, rather than calling their review center "Brain Train" I think "Brain Drain" would suit it better. (How corny can I get?)
So anyway.. what did i learn this summer?
Aside from finding more ways to entertain myself as I sit around and do nothing, or when I am preoccupied with something, learn how to make soup out of my brain..
I learned something very valuable..
As you can all see, i've been very [uhh, whats the word?] anxious lately. I still can't grasp the fact na.. [OMG?! I'M 4th YEAR HIGHSCHOOL NA?!?!] And that after this year.. [OMG I'M GOING TO COLLEGE?!] And then the "what if?" questions start to pop into my head.
What if I fail this year?
What if I don't pass the entrance exams?!
What if I suck as a President of the Student Council?!
But during the last day of our brain train our language proficiency teacher shared to us something that I will never forget.. :D
"His will will never leave you where His grace cannot keep you."
Talk about timing! This was the kind of "quotable quote" I needed to build up my confidence again.
So.. here I am, ready to face a new year. I really don't know what lies ahead but I trust in Him. I know that wherever He leads me.. i'll do just fine. :D
I'm not expecting anything great for me this year. But i'll keep hoping. :D
these are only few of the things I miss the most.
Normally, I would say 'I'm going to miss..' but this summer was different. This summer I didn't get to go to the beach much; I wasn't even allowed to get out of the house. T__T
Just before school was about to end, I looked forward to numerous beach trips and just relaxing the day away..
And now that school is about to start again, I hang my head low in knowing the fact that my summers aren't what they used to be..
I guess I just got used to the fact that my summers were usually more.. EXCITING than what I had this year. Not that i'm complaining, or anything. It still was fun and all.. but not as adventurous as they were before.
In a nutshell, here's what I did during my summer:
I had 2 months of just getting up, eating, eating, eating, and sleeping. *ugh*
And now that its about to end I have yet to look forward to books, lectures and more books. Not to mention countless SC meeting, numerous application forms to fill out, schools to go to, tests to answer.. etc. etc. etc.
*double ugh*
Hassle, pare..
I have a feeling that this school year is going to get rough. Considering the fact that I'm the President of the Student Council, and that I find a way to keep my grades up. I'm going to have a hard time balancing my sched out.
(*So help me, God*)
Then theres the College Entrance Exams, but even before I can take that.. I have to fill out a "few" application forms and blah blah blah.. (oh the pressure.. T___T")
Can't you tell that I'm a nervous wreck?
To be honest, i shouldn't be nervous at all. I took a really expensive review class [Brain Train] which according to them, if I take it.. there may be an 85% chance I can still get into my dream school: The University of the Philippines. (ok ok.. i just made the percentage up. But they say that it'll help me.. somehow.)
Frankly, rather than calling their review center "Brain Train" I think "Brain Drain" would suit it better. (How corny can I get?)
So anyway.. what did i learn this summer?
Aside from finding more ways to entertain myself as I sit around and do nothing, or when I am preoccupied with something, learn how to make soup out of my brain..
I learned something very valuable..
As you can all see, i've been very [uhh, whats the word?] anxious lately. I still can't grasp the fact na.. [OMG?! I'M 4th YEAR HIGHSCHOOL NA?!?!] And that after this year.. [OMG I'M GOING TO COLLEGE?!] And then the "what if?" questions start to pop into my head.
What if I fail this year?
What if I don't pass the entrance exams?!
What if I suck as a President of the Student Council?!
But during the last day of our brain train our language proficiency teacher shared to us something that I will never forget.. :D
"His will will never leave you where His grace cannot keep you."
Talk about timing! This was the kind of "quotable quote" I needed to build up my confidence again.
So.. here I am, ready to face a new year. I really don't know what lies ahead but I trust in Him. I know that wherever He leads me.. i'll do just fine. :D
I'm not expecting anything great for me this year. But i'll keep hoping. :D
Friday, June 1, 2007
My Testimony. :D
Being born and raised in Makati, I’ve been a city kid all my life. I’m your classic-case, Christian-girl scenario. I grew up in a Christian home, came to know Christ at an early age, and belonged to a Christian family. I went to Sunday school, recited my verses and tried to be a good girl. I was usually labeled as “yung anak ni Val and Amy Victa” or “that adorable kid who’d sing during church anniversaries…” (especially way back when they were still held in PICC.) But as I grew up, we eventually moved to Laguna and worshipped in CCF Sucat, which eventually became Alabang. During those times I thought I knew all I had to know about what it meant to be a Christian. All until I started attending youth and in 2005 went to my very first youth camp. It was there where I fully understood the Great Sacrifice that Christ did for all of us.
One of my favorite bible verses is Song of Songs 8:4
“And I charge you, women of Jerusalem not to awaken love until the time is right.”
I kept this verse very close to my heart. But being the hormone raging, curious, hard-headed teenager that I am, I struggled in staying true to it. You see, I was one of the many people who looked for love in all the wrong places. And eventually, I found something that satisfied my craving.
About a year ago, I got into something that wasn’t very pleasing in the eyes of my Lord.
It’s true what Jeremiah 17:9 says that “the heart is deceitful above all things…”
Because I was so caught up with what my heart was telling me what I wanted, I ended up being distracted from God, and dragged other people in that same direction as well.
Eventually, God put an end to all that, and when it did, I was devasted… I spent oh-so-many sleepless nights and countless depressing days when I’d cry my eyes out. Then I became bitter and started having occasional mood-swings. Eventually I grew out of it, but despite that I knew that deep inside I was still broken (and somewhat STILL bitter). But that brokenness made me look back on Song of Songs 8:4. As I read it, God pointed out to me that it still wasn’t the right time for me and that I’ve drifted so far away from Him, that I was back to square one: repenting and making Him the center of my life once again.
But not long after that, I began to feel empty and depressed. And unconsciously, I sought for MY definition of love. (“God… I love You and all. But I wish I could have someone with skin on!” )
But one time during my morning devotion, I ran across 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. And like the double-edged sword that it is, God’s word pierced my heart and I was convicted.
So when depression would get to me, I denied myself and said “Deb! Ano ba? You love God, period.”
But some time February of this year, I was assigned to write an article for JChronicle. And as I did I came across 1 John 4:10 which states “This is what real love is. It is not our love for God… but God’s love for us.”
So It wasn’t enough that I knew I love God, but I had to accept the fact that GOD LOVES ME.
That, that perfect love which I’ve been longing for was right there, waiting to be claimed by me.
But yet again, my deceitful heart told me that I wasn’t satisfied.
Yes, I knew God loved me… but why couldn’t I feel it? My depression became chronic and I couldn’t understand why.
All until a few months ago where our family had this… “issue.” My parent got into this huge argument. Now, it wasn’t something small.. this was a really BIG and SERIOUS issue. For a while, I was ignorant and numb to the situation, but later on feelings of anger and resentment started to creep in. I was mad when I knew I shouldn’t be. I thought evil thoughts like blaming God, or blaming my parents. At one point I got so depressed that I even planned to run away.
The issue lasted all the way until camp and it was during those times when I felt most helpless.
But after hearing messages like surrendering everything and giving glory to God I felt challenged. I knew that God was speaking to me. I felt Him tugging on my heart. Its as if I could hear Him say, “Go ahead, Deb… Try me…”
So during the last night of camp, at the back of the hall, my eyes wet, my head bowed, and my spirit broken, I knelt down and surrendered everything to my gracious Lord, saying “sige, God. I will trust You. I don’t completely understand what’s going on.. but I trust You. I know You will fix this issue in our family. And when You do, I’ll know that it was You and I am going to give back the glory that is due You”
And He did make things right again. Just as He always does.
Remember the parable of 10 lepers and how only one came back? How did that one leper react when he realized he was clean? He went back- shouting and singing praises, and then he fell on his knees in perfect submission thanking our precious Jesus for healing him.
I want to be just like that one leper.
Looking back on everything, I can’t help but laugh. When I think about it I praise God on how those experiences help mold me into the person I am now, and it brought me closer to the Lover of my soul. Unlike before, now I would consider those experiences as something beautiful and something to learn from.
And what DID I learn, you ask?
By experiencing and witnessing a broken relationship, God made me realize I needed to work on one which I was unconsciously slipping away from.
And to get back into that relationship, I had to let go of a few things which were holding me back, no matter how painful they were. Sometimes we become so caught up in what our heart is telling us what we want we ignore everything else. We even ignore Daddy. So the only way Daddy can get our attention, is by breaking our hearts. Because he knows that it’s the only way of letting us know what breaks his.
Just like any other relationship, our relationship with God needs time and effort and most of all, genuine love. And to show that I genuinely loved God I had to talk to Him, spend time with Him. And In everything I do, I should give Him 100%. With nothing held back at all.
So, ano na?
Well, I’m finding more reasons to smile these days. I am no longer that depressed person I was before. I just recently joined the welcoming team, I contribute to Jchron by writing articles, and I joined the dance ministry.
And aside from that, I am an incoming 4th year student and also the incoming President of our school’s Student Council.
I’m making a lot of new friends esp. after camp. And my bond with my current friends is continuously getting stronger.
My family is doing very well now, and everyone is getting along and continuously growing in the Lord.
But more importantly, I’M growing in the Lord. I’m still a work in progress though. Oh! And this time, I’m not letting anything distract me from my Lover. I’m letting Him distract me from everything else! (ok, not naman the important stuffs… but you know what I mean. XP)
A good friend once gave me a thought to ponder on:
“It is when you allow and don’t try that you will inevitably do.” Don’t quite get it? Well, let me put it this way.
You see, when a little girl named Deb, who looked for love in all the wrong places stopped trying and allowed Daddy- who knew His daughter better than she knew herself. Who was kind and gentle and loving and so powerful that He didn’t even need her help- when Deb allowed Daddy to work His magic, she eventually (and inevitably) found the love that she’s been looking for.
No, I haven’t found my GB. (YET!) But I’ve finally claimed the love that has been poured out to me from the very beginning. And when I did accept this precious gift, I received the Peace and Joy I know only my Lover could provide. And now that the pen is in HIS hand, I began to live my life one wonderful love story at a time. And as each day passes, they just keep getting better. He has made me glad, and I am forever in His debt.
Let me leave you with the words of Paul in Ephesians 3:17-19:
“…and I pray that Christ will live in your hearts because of your faith. Stand firm and be deeply rooted in His love.” (Youth Bible)
“Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to heights!” (the Message)
“I want you to know all about Christ’s love, although it is too wonderful to be measured. Then your lives will be filled with all that God is.” (Youth Bible)
With that, I can only say one thing… and I say this “with gusto!”
To God be all the glory.
One of my favorite bible verses is Song of Songs 8:4
“And I charge you, women of Jerusalem not to awaken love until the time is right.”
I kept this verse very close to my heart. But being the hormone raging, curious, hard-headed teenager that I am, I struggled in staying true to it. You see, I was one of the many people who looked for love in all the wrong places. And eventually, I found something that satisfied my craving.
About a year ago, I got into something that wasn’t very pleasing in the eyes of my Lord.
It’s true what Jeremiah 17:9 says that “the heart is deceitful above all things…”
Because I was so caught up with what my heart was telling me what I wanted, I ended up being distracted from God, and dragged other people in that same direction as well.
Eventually, God put an end to all that, and when it did, I was devasted… I spent oh-so-many sleepless nights and countless depressing days when I’d cry my eyes out. Then I became bitter and started having occasional mood-swings. Eventually I grew out of it, but despite that I knew that deep inside I was still broken (and somewhat STILL bitter). But that brokenness made me look back on Song of Songs 8:4. As I read it, God pointed out to me that it still wasn’t the right time for me and that I’ve drifted so far away from Him, that I was back to square one: repenting and making Him the center of my life once again.
But not long after that, I began to feel empty and depressed. And unconsciously, I sought for MY definition of love. (“God… I love You and all. But I wish I could have someone with skin on!” )
But one time during my morning devotion, I ran across 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. And like the double-edged sword that it is, God’s word pierced my heart and I was convicted.
So when depression would get to me, I denied myself and said “Deb! Ano ba? You love God, period.”
But some time February of this year, I was assigned to write an article for JChronicle. And as I did I came across 1 John 4:10 which states “This is what real love is. It is not our love for God… but God’s love for us.”
So It wasn’t enough that I knew I love God, but I had to accept the fact that GOD LOVES ME.
That, that perfect love which I’ve been longing for was right there, waiting to be claimed by me.
But yet again, my deceitful heart told me that I wasn’t satisfied.
Yes, I knew God loved me… but why couldn’t I feel it? My depression became chronic and I couldn’t understand why.
All until a few months ago where our family had this… “issue.” My parent got into this huge argument. Now, it wasn’t something small.. this was a really BIG and SERIOUS issue. For a while, I was ignorant and numb to the situation, but later on feelings of anger and resentment started to creep in. I was mad when I knew I shouldn’t be. I thought evil thoughts like blaming God, or blaming my parents. At one point I got so depressed that I even planned to run away.
The issue lasted all the way until camp and it was during those times when I felt most helpless.
But after hearing messages like surrendering everything and giving glory to God I felt challenged. I knew that God was speaking to me. I felt Him tugging on my heart. Its as if I could hear Him say, “Go ahead, Deb… Try me…”
So during the last night of camp, at the back of the hall, my eyes wet, my head bowed, and my spirit broken, I knelt down and surrendered everything to my gracious Lord, saying “sige, God. I will trust You. I don’t completely understand what’s going on.. but I trust You. I know You will fix this issue in our family. And when You do, I’ll know that it was You and I am going to give back the glory that is due You”
And He did make things right again. Just as He always does.
Remember the parable of 10 lepers and how only one came back? How did that one leper react when he realized he was clean? He went back- shouting and singing praises, and then he fell on his knees in perfect submission thanking our precious Jesus for healing him.
I want to be just like that one leper.
Looking back on everything, I can’t help but laugh. When I think about it I praise God on how those experiences help mold me into the person I am now, and it brought me closer to the Lover of my soul. Unlike before, now I would consider those experiences as something beautiful and something to learn from.
And what DID I learn, you ask?
By experiencing and witnessing a broken relationship, God made me realize I needed to work on one which I was unconsciously slipping away from.
And to get back into that relationship, I had to let go of a few things which were holding me back, no matter how painful they were. Sometimes we become so caught up in what our heart is telling us what we want we ignore everything else. We even ignore Daddy. So the only way Daddy can get our attention, is by breaking our hearts. Because he knows that it’s the only way of letting us know what breaks his.
Just like any other relationship, our relationship with God needs time and effort and most of all, genuine love. And to show that I genuinely loved God I had to talk to Him, spend time with Him. And In everything I do, I should give Him 100%. With nothing held back at all.
So, ano na?
Well, I’m finding more reasons to smile these days. I am no longer that depressed person I was before. I just recently joined the welcoming team, I contribute to Jchron by writing articles, and I joined the dance ministry.
And aside from that, I am an incoming 4th year student and also the incoming President of our school’s Student Council.
I’m making a lot of new friends esp. after camp. And my bond with my current friends is continuously getting stronger.
My family is doing very well now, and everyone is getting along and continuously growing in the Lord.
But more importantly, I’M growing in the Lord. I’m still a work in progress though. Oh! And this time, I’m not letting anything distract me from my Lover. I’m letting Him distract me from everything else! (ok, not naman the important stuffs… but you know what I mean. XP)
A good friend once gave me a thought to ponder on:
“It is when you allow and don’t try that you will inevitably do.” Don’t quite get it? Well, let me put it this way.
You see, when a little girl named Deb, who looked for love in all the wrong places stopped trying and allowed Daddy- who knew His daughter better than she knew herself. Who was kind and gentle and loving and so powerful that He didn’t even need her help- when Deb allowed Daddy to work His magic, she eventually (and inevitably) found the love that she’s been looking for.
No, I haven’t found my GB. (YET!) But I’ve finally claimed the love that has been poured out to me from the very beginning. And when I did accept this precious gift, I received the Peace and Joy I know only my Lover could provide. And now that the pen is in HIS hand, I began to live my life one wonderful love story at a time. And as each day passes, they just keep getting better. He has made me glad, and I am forever in His debt.
Let me leave you with the words of Paul in Ephesians 3:17-19:
“…and I pray that Christ will live in your hearts because of your faith. Stand firm and be deeply rooted in His love.” (Youth Bible)
“Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to heights!” (the Message)
“I want you to know all about Christ’s love, although it is too wonderful to be measured. Then your lives will be filled with all that God is.” (Youth Bible)
With that, I can only say one thing… and I say this “with gusto!”
To God be all the glory.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
All the Days of My Life (an Excerpt)
** taken from Chapter 6- A Forever Kind of Love by Leslie Ludy.
From the book: "When God Writes Your Love Story" written by Eric and Leslie Ludy.
*one word:
OUCH. oh yeah! and important stuff (well, for me at least) are highlighted. XP
My fellow sisters in Christ.. be moved and learn from this entry as I have. [HUZZZAH FOR GENTLE AND QUIET SPIRITS! XD]
Not long after my decision to "give God the pen" to write my love story, I learned a truth about loving my future husband that dramatically changed the way I was living.
I was innocently reading my "proverb for the day" which happend to be Proverbs 31. The famous chapter in the Bible that describes the "wife of godly character."
I must admit, I wasn't paying very close attention or taking the words too seriously. After all, I figured most of it wouldn't apply to me until after I was a "wife", which as far as I was concerned, wouldn't be for awhile! Yet suddenly my eye fell upon a verse, and the words stood out to me.
"She (the wife of godly character) does him (her husband) good and not evil all the days of her life."
(Prov. 31:12)
Wait a minute! My mind raced. All the days of her life?
What was that supposed to mean? I had yet to meet any woman who had been married all the days of her life. Did this verse mean she tried to do her husband good... even before she met him?
I felt a gentle nudge on my heart. And somehow, I knew this was what God wanted for me. To seek my future husband's highest good... starting right now.
"How can I love someone I've never met?" I argued back inside my head. "I mean, i'm keeping a commitment to abstinence for my future husband... so what else can I possibly do for him?"
The gentle nudge continued, ultimately forcing me to examine the way I was living. How had I been approaching relationships? Each time I was involved with someone, I poured my heart, my emotions, my affection, my time, and all my attention onto that person. Not to mention the fact, that though I may have been technically a virgin, I wasn't keeping myself physically pure - I was constantly compromising my standards.
"How would your future husband feel..." my heart seemed to ask, "if he could see you giving everything you are to these relationships? If he could watch you freely giving away your heart, your emotions, and your physical purity... a treasure that belongs to him?"
My heart ached. I realized so clearly in that moment that I hadn't been loving my future husband. With the way I had been living, I hadn't even been considering him at all! Instead, I had been consumed with meeting my own immediate desires. Sadness overcame me as I saw that I had been giving his treasure, piece by piece, to each guy I dated.
"Lord, I want to honor You and my future husband with the way I live," I prayed that day, "and I am making a commitment today to love and seek his highest good from now on."
My love life was transformed. Even though I didn't know him yet, I began truly loving Eric at that moment- truly loving my future husband "all the days of my life." It wasn't always easy. At times it was painful. And of course, there were plenty of moments when the old selfishness tried to creep back in. But with God's help, I started laying the foundation for a lifelong relationship, because I was willing to start loving my future husband with a sacrificial love, a selfless love, a lasting love... an unconditional love.
From the book: "When God Writes Your Love Story" written by Eric and Leslie Ludy.
*one word:
OUCH. oh yeah! and important stuff (well, for me at least) are highlighted. XP
My fellow sisters in Christ.. be moved and learn from this entry as I have. [HUZZZAH FOR GENTLE AND QUIET SPIRITS! XD]
Not long after my decision to "give God the pen" to write my love story, I learned a truth about loving my future husband that dramatically changed the way I was living.
I was innocently reading my "proverb for the day" which happend to be Proverbs 31. The famous chapter in the Bible that describes the "wife of godly character."
I must admit, I wasn't paying very close attention or taking the words too seriously. After all, I figured most of it wouldn't apply to me until after I was a "wife", which as far as I was concerned, wouldn't be for awhile! Yet suddenly my eye fell upon a verse, and the words stood out to me.
"She (the wife of godly character) does him (her husband) good and not evil all the days of her life."
(Prov. 31:12)
Wait a minute! My mind raced. All the days of her life?
What was that supposed to mean? I had yet to meet any woman who had been married all the days of her life. Did this verse mean she tried to do her husband good... even before she met him?
I felt a gentle nudge on my heart. And somehow, I knew this was what God wanted for me. To seek my future husband's highest good... starting right now.
"How can I love someone I've never met?" I argued back inside my head. "I mean, i'm keeping a commitment to abstinence for my future husband... so what else can I possibly do for him?"
The gentle nudge continued, ultimately forcing me to examine the way I was living. How had I been approaching relationships? Each time I was involved with someone, I poured my heart, my emotions, my affection, my time, and all my attention onto that person. Not to mention the fact, that though I may have been technically a virgin, I wasn't keeping myself physically pure - I was constantly compromising my standards.
"How would your future husband feel..." my heart seemed to ask, "if he could see you giving everything you are to these relationships? If he could watch you freely giving away your heart, your emotions, and your physical purity... a treasure that belongs to him?"
My heart ached. I realized so clearly in that moment that I hadn't been loving my future husband. With the way I had been living, I hadn't even been considering him at all! Instead, I had been consumed with meeting my own immediate desires. Sadness overcame me as I saw that I had been giving his treasure, piece by piece, to each guy I dated.
"Lord, I want to honor You and my future husband with the way I live," I prayed that day, "and I am making a commitment today to love and seek his highest good from now on."
My love life was transformed. Even though I didn't know him yet, I began truly loving Eric at that moment- truly loving my future husband "all the days of my life." It wasn't always easy. At times it was painful. And of course, there were plenty of moments when the old selfishness tried to creep back in. But with God's help, I started laying the foundation for a lifelong relationship, because I was willing to start loving my future husband with a sacrificial love, a selfless love, a lasting love... an unconditional love.
Monday, May 21, 2007
For a Dear Friend
It pains me when I see you weep.
Why? Because I see so much of myself in you. I see you... and I remember.
I remember how I used to cry like there was no tomorrow. I remember how I felt so broken those days, how there was so much hurt inside of me. I remember asking Daddy to shield you and her from the same pain, if ever the time would come.
Eventually, it did.. but Daddy did not shield you. I guess Daddy wanted us to learn.
But one thing I am grateful for, is how the both of you learned from my experience to help yourselves in the future. Because it turned out, that your experiences were much more simple than mine.
Sometimes I wish I had what you two had. I wish I had enough courage as she did, when she went out of her way to reach out to a friend she really cared about (and how obvious is it that, that same friend cares so much about her as well?)
I wish I had the same convictions as you had, and how it was you who gathered enough guts to put an end to things when you knew things weren't right. And then, hours after you did end it all, how you casually talked to each other (despite the tension..) proving you were more like.. and better at being friends.
I remember how I eventually got past that stage and got back up on my feet.
My dear sweet friend, things are going to be alright. I just know it. Always know that I am here for you. I know what your going through and if it means anything to you, let me cry with you.
Also, know that Daddy is with you. He hates to see you cry, and im sure He doesnt mean to hurt you.. but Daddy has to. Daddy knows that breaking your heart is the only way for you to understand what breaks His.
Run back into His arms my dear friend, and find comfort in Him when no one with skin on could comfort you. May our Lover be with you during your tearful nights and depressing days, just as how He's been there for me. Take joy in knowing the fact that He, Himself will wipe away every single tear from your eyes. (Rev. 21:4)
On your feet beautiful stranger, do not stay down. Get up and continue moving forward. There is much in store for you.
May you find the peace and joy only Sweetie could provide. When you receive it, you'll realize that with what you did, though painful... puts a smile on His face.
(although im pretty sure you already know that..)
I love you.ü
Why? Because I see so much of myself in you. I see you... and I remember.
I remember how I used to cry like there was no tomorrow. I remember how I felt so broken those days, how there was so much hurt inside of me. I remember asking Daddy to shield you and her from the same pain, if ever the time would come.
Eventually, it did.. but Daddy did not shield you. I guess Daddy wanted us to learn.
But one thing I am grateful for, is how the both of you learned from my experience to help yourselves in the future. Because it turned out, that your experiences were much more simple than mine.
Sometimes I wish I had what you two had. I wish I had enough courage as she did, when she went out of her way to reach out to a friend she really cared about (and how obvious is it that, that same friend cares so much about her as well?)
I wish I had the same convictions as you had, and how it was you who gathered enough guts to put an end to things when you knew things weren't right. And then, hours after you did end it all, how you casually talked to each other (despite the tension..) proving you were more like.. and better at being friends.
I remember how I eventually got past that stage and got back up on my feet.
My dear sweet friend, things are going to be alright. I just know it. Always know that I am here for you. I know what your going through and if it means anything to you, let me cry with you.
Also, know that Daddy is with you. He hates to see you cry, and im sure He doesnt mean to hurt you.. but Daddy has to. Daddy knows that breaking your heart is the only way for you to understand what breaks His.
Run back into His arms my dear friend, and find comfort in Him when no one with skin on could comfort you. May our Lover be with you during your tearful nights and depressing days, just as how He's been there for me. Take joy in knowing the fact that He, Himself will wipe away every single tear from your eyes. (Rev. 21:4)
On your feet beautiful stranger, do not stay down. Get up and continue moving forward. There is much in store for you.
May you find the peace and joy only Sweetie could provide. When you receive it, you'll realize that with what you did, though painful... puts a smile on His face.
(although im pretty sure you already know that..)
I love you.ü
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Wild-goose chase?
(During Brain Train.)
Lanuage Proficiency:
Lesson: Idioms
Directions: Choose the correct meaning of the italicized phrase and write its letter on your answer sheet.
Question: Looking for the perfect man is always a wild-goose chase.
a. worth cause
b. useless search
c. tiring search
d. exciting activity
correct answer: b
I know its just a test question, but is it really true that people should just give up on searching for the perfect man/woman?
We all know the saying that nobody's perfect, but as Christians we also learned something about: "waiting in God's time to find that 'perfect someone' who fits your standards."
I wanna hear the people's opinion on this.
So comment me. NOW
Lanuage Proficiency:
Lesson: Idioms
Directions: Choose the correct meaning of the italicized phrase and write its letter on your answer sheet.
Question: Looking for the perfect man is always a wild-goose chase.
a. worth cause
b. useless search
c. tiring search
d. exciting activity
correct answer: b
I know its just a test question, but is it really true that people should just give up on searching for the perfect man/woman?
We all know the saying that nobody's perfect, but as Christians we also learned something about: "waiting in God's time to find that 'perfect someone' who fits your standards."
I wanna hear the people's opinion on this.
So comment me. NOW
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
So help me God...
Daddy,
What will it take to put a smile on your face?
Does it mean to suffer the consequences of losing a restored friendship? Having someone get mad at you because i've said something that brings glory to Your Name, yet it's what he doesn't want to hear?
Does it mean to talk to that person, and confront him, even if it means risking our new friendship, and it means that i might have to live the rest of my life passing him by the hallway, but never looking into his face?
Daddy, im scared. But help me remember that its not the world im trying to please, but it's You.
If "some people" aren't ready to hear my testimony bec. of some reputation, then Daddy, rebuke that person.
But what if this thing was actually a reminder for me?
What if this is one of my reminders from Daddy. Correcting a wrong motive perhaps?
Search my heart, Daddy. And if there is any reveal it to me that I may rid of it..
You know me better than I know myself...
What will it take to put a smile on your face?
Does it mean to suffer the consequences of losing a restored friendship? Having someone get mad at you because i've said something that brings glory to Your Name, yet it's what he doesn't want to hear?
Does it mean to talk to that person, and confront him, even if it means risking our new friendship, and it means that i might have to live the rest of my life passing him by the hallway, but never looking into his face?
Daddy, im scared. But help me remember that its not the world im trying to please, but it's You.
If "some people" aren't ready to hear my testimony bec. of some reputation, then Daddy, rebuke that person.
But what if this thing was actually a reminder for me?
What if this is one of my reminders from Daddy. Correcting a wrong motive perhaps?
Search my heart, Daddy. And if there is any reveal it to me that I may rid of it..
You know me better than I know myself...
Monday, May 14, 2007
Let It Flow (in serious partnership with Alfonso Pizarro)
**note: this actually came from my testimony, so pardon me if it feels a little bit bitin. XP
...A good friend once gave me a thought to ponder on:
“It is when you allow and don’t try that you will inevitably do.”
We’ve been trying to find a way to elaborate the statement further, and I guess now would be a perfect time to apply that.
You see, when a little girl named Deb, who looked for love in all the wrong places stopped trying and allowed Daddy- who knew His daughter better than she knew herself. Who was kind and gentle and loving so powerful that He didn’t even need Deb’s help- when Deb allowed Daddy to work His magic, she eventually (and inevitably) found the love that she’s been looking for.
No, I haven’t found my GB. (but I wish… hehe!) But I’ve finally claimed the love that has been poured out to me from the very beginning. I was just too distracted to notice that it was right there in front of me all along! And when I did accept this precious gift, I received the Peace and Joy I know only my Lover could provide. And now that I no longer try to grab the pen from His hand, and just trusted my Lover, I began to live my life one wonderful love story at a time. And as each day passes, they just keep getting better.
He has made me glad, and for that I am eternally grateful...
...A good friend once gave me a thought to ponder on:
“It is when you allow and don’t try that you will inevitably do.”
We’ve been trying to find a way to elaborate the statement further, and I guess now would be a perfect time to apply that.
You see, when a little girl named Deb, who looked for love in all the wrong places stopped trying and allowed Daddy- who knew His daughter better than she knew herself. Who was kind and gentle and loving so powerful that He didn’t even need Deb’s help- when Deb allowed Daddy to work His magic, she eventually (and inevitably) found the love that she’s been looking for.
No, I haven’t found my GB. (but I wish… hehe!) But I’ve finally claimed the love that has been poured out to me from the very beginning. I was just too distracted to notice that it was right there in front of me all along! And when I did accept this precious gift, I received the Peace and Joy I know only my Lover could provide. And now that I no longer try to grab the pen from His hand, and just trusted my Lover, I began to live my life one wonderful love story at a time. And as each day passes, they just keep getting better.
He has made me glad, and for that I am eternally grateful...
Friday, May 11, 2007
Sonnet 116
"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
Oh no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."
-William Shakespeare
(1564 - 1616)
O_O
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
Oh no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."
-William Shakespeare
(1564 - 1616)
O_O
Thursday, May 10, 2007
A bittersweet walk down memory lane.
Why is it that I can't seem to get it out of my system?
I mean.. yeah i've moved on.. its over yaddah yaddah yaddah.. but then sometimes i still find myself thinking about it everytime I wake up, or maybe smiling as the memories replay in my head just before i go to sleep.
Force of habit I presume.
This stranger who i [think] know oh-so-well. For once, I've had enough of you. I'm sick of your face popping inside my head everytime there is a chance. In fact.. IM SICK OF YOU.
Im sick of people asking me how i've been without you. Im sick of the fact that people sometimes still link me to you.
Im sick of how you are so quick to judge, sick of how you criticize people the way you do.
I mean, if my own parents can't tell me how I should worship, then what gives YOU the right to tell me how I should worship?
Who do you think you are, to go on judging peoples relationship with God like that?
*ugh*
I'd have to admit. Sometimes I envy you.
I envy your passion. I envy how you have so much zeal for God.
I think I have an idea of your burden- of wanting others to come to know Christ the way you do..
But you'd have to understand. The way to a person's heart is not by talking them down, or debating with them. Its by being gentle, and compassionate and understanding..
Its Christians like you who make Christians like us want to draw closer to God.
but then.. its Christians like you, who make Christians like us.. feel insecure and doubtful..
"You're the only one you know who carries a cross,
you don't care what they care about anyway....
You can't find the answers till you learn to question,
You won't appear stupid, just ask for direction.
You're insecure and it clouds your perception..
So stop and listen and learn a lesson in love without condition.."
Sometimes I just feel like throwing a line like that at you.
But then I think that.. What if, the words were meant for me, and not you..
I'm sorry.. (there, I said it..)
I've been critical myself. I've been mad when I shouldn't. Afterall, we're both fighting for the same reason, and that reason is God.
But then I ask.. "who's in the right?"
then again, only He can say.
Can't we just set aside our differences and live harmoniously, like how real brothers and sisters in Christ should? Lets stop this childish bickering because its really getting nowhere.. (don't you agree?)
You think we're ok.. but BOY, do we have issues..
*ugh*
It's true when they say, old habits die hard.
No no, i'm not bitter. Not at all.. really! I'm just really fed up, thats all.
God already broke me by taking you away. And thats cool and all, cause it made me draw closer to Him. But then why are you still inside my head? Are you supposed to stay there?
Maybe im not broken enough.
I mean.. yeah i've moved on.. its over yaddah yaddah yaddah.. but then sometimes i still find myself thinking about it everytime I wake up, or maybe smiling as the memories replay in my head just before i go to sleep.
Force of habit I presume.
This stranger who i [think] know oh-so-well. For once, I've had enough of you. I'm sick of your face popping inside my head everytime there is a chance. In fact.. IM SICK OF YOU.
Im sick of people asking me how i've been without you. Im sick of the fact that people sometimes still link me to you.
Im sick of how you are so quick to judge, sick of how you criticize people the way you do.
I mean, if my own parents can't tell me how I should worship, then what gives YOU the right to tell me how I should worship?
Who do you think you are, to go on judging peoples relationship with God like that?
*ugh*
I'd have to admit. Sometimes I envy you.
I envy your passion. I envy how you have so much zeal for God.
I think I have an idea of your burden- of wanting others to come to know Christ the way you do..
But you'd have to understand. The way to a person's heart is not by talking them down, or debating with them. Its by being gentle, and compassionate and understanding..
Its Christians like you who make Christians like us want to draw closer to God.
but then.. its Christians like you, who make Christians like us.. feel insecure and doubtful..
"You're the only one you know who carries a cross,
you don't care what they care about anyway....
You can't find the answers till you learn to question,
You won't appear stupid, just ask for direction.
You're insecure and it clouds your perception..
So stop and listen and learn a lesson in love without condition.."
Sometimes I just feel like throwing a line like that at you.
But then I think that.. What if, the words were meant for me, and not you..
I'm sorry.. (there, I said it..)
I've been critical myself. I've been mad when I shouldn't. Afterall, we're both fighting for the same reason, and that reason is God.
But then I ask.. "who's in the right?"
then again, only He can say.
Can't we just set aside our differences and live harmoniously, like how real brothers and sisters in Christ should? Lets stop this childish bickering because its really getting nowhere.. (don't you agree?)
You think we're ok.. but BOY, do we have issues..
*ugh*
It's true when they say, old habits die hard.
No no, i'm not bitter. Not at all.. really! I'm just really fed up, thats all.
God already broke me by taking you away. And thats cool and all, cause it made me draw closer to Him. But then why are you still inside my head? Are you supposed to stay there?
Maybe im not broken enough.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Learning From The Leper
Scripture Text: Luke 17:11-19
Have you ever had someone do something so great for you, that you felt so thankful, you wanted to do something sepcial for that person? Or find a way repay him/her somehow?
Or, did you just go on your merry way, without even thanking the person?
This is what I learned during a small devotional we had together as a family.
I learned that we are very much like lepers.
Unclean.
Isolated.
Despised.
Unloved.
If you look at Numbers 5:2-4; the Lord gave Moses intructions on what to do with these people.They had to separate them from their homes, thier loved ones. Deprive them of being with them, and isolate them someplace far (like in the dessert). They had to tear their clothes as a symbol of deep sorrow, and they had to cover their faces. (Because in the old times, the face was considered the most intimate part of the body, so if you cover your face this shows no intimacy to any person.) And if anyone tries to get near them they would have to shout "UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!"
Why go this far for a sick person? Because leprosy can be contaigous..
and leprosy.. just like sin..
slowly but surely, kills a person.
We all remember the bible story of the 10 lepers that Jesus healed right?
what was their call?
"Master [Jesus] have pity on us..."
(its now time for Deb's Dictionary/Thesaurus! XD)
Main Entry: pity
Part of Speech: noun 1
Definition: mercy
Mercy- Not receiving something you deserve.
The Lepers knew they deserved to die, because they were unclean, but here they were calling out to their Lord, to show them mercy, and not allow them to die.
Seeing them, Jesus told them to go and show themselves to the priest, and as they went on their way, they were healed. (v.14)
Now why did Jesus tell them to go to the priest?
Not that it means anything in the present time, but in the old days you had to go to the priest and have yourself checked if you were healed, so he may give you the bill of health. So in short, the priest was sort of an accuser. He judges the person and if he sees any impurities in you he points it out and sends you away.
In our christian lives, Satan or the Devil are our accusers. That *zhomgoodnessgoshdarnitdagnabbit (word censored thanks to jimsilog: SB daw ako hahah!)* demon is going to find some sort of "leprosy" in us and accuse us of being filthy and undeserving to rejoin our loved ones, but Jesus is going to clean that up and He will claim us righteous.
On their way to the priest, they were healed.. and only ONE leper realized this.
That one leper was sensitive to the power of Christ, and so he went back.. because he knew that his Lord deserved to be thanked.
Even if he was instructed by God to go see the priest, he delayed and followed his higher calling- he took the time to give God what was due to Him.
as I have learned :
** A lack of thankfulness is a lack of thoughtfulness.
Sometimes we like to think that we are sufficient, but the truth is.. we are born helpless into this world.
We sometimes think that doing good works or serving in the ministry is enough, but a lot of times we forget why we're doing it.
But we have to remember that if we don't give God our "thanks" or the honor that is due Him, all of our "Christian routines", even if they are for a good cause; are all gonna become another gimick.
My dad told me once, "DELAYED OBEDIENCE IS DISOBEDIENCE"
so, did that mean that since this leper delayed, he was disobeying God? When he came back to Jesus, was He told off "Why are you here?! I told you to go to the priest! You disobeyed Me!"
NO.
yes, this leper (who was actually a foreigner. NOTE: Samaritan) did not obey instantly, but he had a higher calling- to give thanks to Jesus, and the Lord did not stop him from doing that.
"17 Jesus asked, "Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18 Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?" 19 Then he said to him, 'Rise and go; your faith has made you well.'"
"YOUR FAITH HAS MADE YOU WELL."
Note: Jesus was the one who assured him that he was clean! He did not have to go back to the priest, he did not have to wash himself by some healing pool. All he did was fall down on his knees in perfect submission and glorified Jesus. And he was well.
So through this guy's thanksgiving, Jesus perfected his Faith.
I promised God, that if He would make things better, He would get all the glory.
And here I am God, giving You what You deserve.
I know for sure this was all your doing, and for that I am eternally grateful.ü
How about you guys? Have you learned from the leper? Or will you follow the example of the other 9 who just went on their way?
Its never too late to turn back and thank Him.ü
Have you ever had someone do something so great for you, that you felt so thankful, you wanted to do something sepcial for that person? Or find a way repay him/her somehow?
Or, did you just go on your merry way, without even thanking the person?
This is what I learned during a small devotional we had together as a family.
I learned that we are very much like lepers.
Unclean.
Isolated.
Despised.
Unloved.
If you look at Numbers 5:2-4; the Lord gave Moses intructions on what to do with these people.They had to separate them from their homes, thier loved ones. Deprive them of being with them, and isolate them someplace far (like in the dessert). They had to tear their clothes as a symbol of deep sorrow, and they had to cover their faces. (Because in the old times, the face was considered the most intimate part of the body, so if you cover your face this shows no intimacy to any person.) And if anyone tries to get near them they would have to shout "UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!"
Why go this far for a sick person? Because leprosy can be contaigous..
and leprosy.. just like sin..
slowly but surely, kills a person.
We all remember the bible story of the 10 lepers that Jesus healed right?
what was their call?
"Master [Jesus] have pity on us..."
(its now time for Deb's Dictionary/Thesaurus! XD)
Main Entry: pity
Part of Speech: noun 1
Definition: mercy
Mercy- Not receiving something you deserve.
The Lepers knew they deserved to die, because they were unclean, but here they were calling out to their Lord, to show them mercy, and not allow them to die.
Seeing them, Jesus told them to go and show themselves to the priest, and as they went on their way, they were healed. (v.14)
Now why did Jesus tell them to go to the priest?
Not that it means anything in the present time, but in the old days you had to go to the priest and have yourself checked if you were healed, so he may give you the bill of health. So in short, the priest was sort of an accuser. He judges the person and if he sees any impurities in you he points it out and sends you away.
In our christian lives, Satan or the Devil are our accusers. That *zhomgoodnessgoshdarnitdagnabbit (word censored thanks to jimsilog: SB daw ako hahah!)* demon is going to find some sort of "leprosy" in us and accuse us of being filthy and undeserving to rejoin our loved ones, but Jesus is going to clean that up and He will claim us righteous.
On their way to the priest, they were healed.. and only ONE leper realized this.
That one leper was sensitive to the power of Christ, and so he went back.. because he knew that his Lord deserved to be thanked.
Even if he was instructed by God to go see the priest, he delayed and followed his higher calling- he took the time to give God what was due to Him.
as I have learned :
** A lack of thankfulness is a lack of thoughtfulness.
Sometimes we like to think that we are sufficient, but the truth is.. we are born helpless into this world.
We sometimes think that doing good works or serving in the ministry is enough, but a lot of times we forget why we're doing it.
But we have to remember that if we don't give God our "thanks" or the honor that is due Him, all of our "Christian routines", even if they are for a good cause; are all gonna become another gimick.
My dad told me once, "DELAYED OBEDIENCE IS DISOBEDIENCE"
so, did that mean that since this leper delayed, he was disobeying God? When he came back to Jesus, was He told off "Why are you here?! I told you to go to the priest! You disobeyed Me!"
NO.
yes, this leper (who was actually a foreigner. NOTE: Samaritan) did not obey instantly, but he had a higher calling- to give thanks to Jesus, and the Lord did not stop him from doing that.
"17 Jesus asked, "Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18 Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?" 19 Then he said to him, 'Rise and go; your faith has made you well.'"
"YOUR FAITH HAS MADE YOU WELL."
Note: Jesus was the one who assured him that he was clean! He did not have to go back to the priest, he did not have to wash himself by some healing pool. All he did was fall down on his knees in perfect submission and glorified Jesus. And he was well.
So through this guy's thanksgiving, Jesus perfected his Faith.
I promised God, that if He would make things better, He would get all the glory.
And here I am God, giving You what You deserve.
I know for sure this was all your doing, and for that I am eternally grateful.ü
How about you guys? Have you learned from the leper? Or will you follow the example of the other 9 who just went on their way?
Its never too late to turn back and thank Him.ü
Sunday, April 29, 2007
From Then to Now
Growing.
Thats what we are. We are growing. Everyday, whether we like it or not.
we're getting older, wiser, [prettier maybe? hehe] as each day passes us by.
I don't think I ever got the chance to tell you.. that its been an honor growing up with you. Be it physically, spiritually, emotionally[?] or probably mentally... [??]
We really have come a long way. From Sunday School, to games, to clothes, to make-up, to trips to the beach, to boys, to family, to now. All under the watchful eye of our Dad.
thank you. I don't think i'd be the person that I am today without you.
may we continue growing in the Lord.. together.ü
Thats what we are. We are growing. Everyday, whether we like it or not.
we're getting older, wiser, [prettier maybe? hehe] as each day passes us by.
I don't think I ever got the chance to tell you.. that its been an honor growing up with you. Be it physically, spiritually, emotionally[?] or probably mentally... [??]
We really have come a long way. From Sunday School, to games, to clothes, to make-up, to trips to the beach, to boys, to family, to now. All under the watchful eye of our Dad.
thank you. I don't think i'd be the person that I am today without you.
may we continue growing in the Lord.. together.ü
Friday, April 27, 2007
Family Portrait- Pink
Momma please stop cryin, I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful and its tearin' me down
I hear glasses breakin as I sit up in my bed
I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you said
You fight about money, bout me and my brother
And this I come home to, this is my shelter
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, you'll see
I don't want love to destroy me like it has done
my family
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don'tleave
Daddy please stop yellin, I can't stand the sound
Make mama stop cryin, cuz I need you around
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says its true
I know that she hurts you, but remember
I love you too
I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have
no choice, no way
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, well I've seen
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my family
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comesnaturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays
I don't want two addresses
I don't want a step-brother anyways
And I don't want my mom to have to change her
last name
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally..
Daddy don't leave
Turn around please
Remember that the night you left you took my shining star?
Daddy don't leave
Don't leave us here alone
Mom will be nicer
I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother
Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night
**Although this song exaggerates it a bit.. strangely, i find myself relating to the lyrics..
*sigh*
Things are gonna get better..
"I can do all things through Christ Who gives me strength..."
-Philippians 4:13
Your pain is painful and its tearin' me down
I hear glasses breakin as I sit up in my bed
I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you said
You fight about money, bout me and my brother
And this I come home to, this is my shelter
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, you'll see
I don't want love to destroy me like it has done
my family
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don'tleave
Daddy please stop yellin, I can't stand the sound
Make mama stop cryin, cuz I need you around
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says its true
I know that she hurts you, but remember
I love you too
I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have
no choice, no way
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, well I've seen
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my family
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comesnaturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays
I don't want two addresses
I don't want a step-brother anyways
And I don't want my mom to have to change her
last name
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally..
Daddy don't leave
Turn around please
Remember that the night you left you took my shining star?
Daddy don't leave
Don't leave us here alone
Mom will be nicer
I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother
Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night
**Although this song exaggerates it a bit.. strangely, i find myself relating to the lyrics..
*sigh*
Things are gonna get better..
"I can do all things through Christ Who gives me strength..."
-Philippians 4:13
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Congratulations.
congratulations to me.. ^___^
3 whole days in camp, and my phone still exists!
w00t! landmark.
3 whole days in camp, and my phone still exists!
w00t! landmark.
She's back and ready for anything!
a few days after Deb got baptised she wakes up one morning and opens her trusty computer.
she logs-in onto ym.. and does her usual routine online..
check mail
chat with people
deviant art
gaia
friendster
multiply
and blogspot..
after about an hour, Deb's cousin pings her and chats with her. He forces her to come visit him in Australia. He asks her how shes been and she says shes exhausted because she just came from youth camp.
Curious, deb's cousin asks what its for and what its about.. and quite strangely. The topic shifts to Christianity..
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:29:44 PM): You a rather religious person?
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:30:53 PM): say it loud, say it proud. yes. I am a Christian Girl
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:31:17 PM): lulz
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:32:55 PM): I'm not
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:33:06 PM): i see
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:33:21 PM): Religion hasn't done much for me
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:33:31 PM): how so?
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:33:49 PM): Well what has it done for me?
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:35:41 PM): its not what has it done for you..
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:35:47 PM): besides cousin dear
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:35:51 PM): youd have to understand..
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:36:10 PM): that the diff bet. my religion from all other religions is that,
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:36:15 PM): its not really a religion
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:36:21 PM): its a relationship..
and thats how their heated debate on whether God or Heaven exsisted or not started.
Inside her head, deb was excited. Its been two days since she got baptised and God has already put her to the test.. but deb is also somehow afraid. Her cousin is very stubborn and she knows that he hates to loose. So she prays hard for God to work in and through her to be a good witness to her cousin..
she might not get to convince him now.. but hopefully someday.. she will.
Deb knows that probbably right now her cousin despises her. Deb does not want to offend her cousin in anyway.. but somehow she thinks she has. She prays that somehow God will perform a miracle to change her cousin's heart.
Deb is certain that if her God can calm storms and raise people from the dead.. then that same God can move hearts and change lives.
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:57:44 PM): the bible is full of s***
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:57:56 PM): hahah dont say that
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:58:04 PM): The old mainly though
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:58:24 PM): haha i know to you it sounds like nonesense
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:58:31 PM): i mean that what i thought too before
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:58:55 PM): its just a couple of bible stories about some guy who performed a few unbelievable things.. so what?
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:17 PM): but you know what i ve learned?
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:59:24 PM): Not really, no.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:28 PM): that.. the bible is a loooooooooooooooong love letter
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:31 PM): to me
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:40 PM): to MEEEE
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:59:44 PM): lol
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:59:49 PM): Filos are crazy... x]
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:57 PM): haha hey, you're half filo
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:00:01 PM): so yer half crazy
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:00:07 PM): but seriously
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:00:17 PM): its answered a lot of questions for me
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:00:17 PM): yeah but Half sane too
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:00:33 PM): and its comforted me when nobody with skin on could comfort me
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:01:39 PM): Not to mention everyone giving me the whole "God must have something planned and s'he must have something greater planned"
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:02:05 PM): haha why what are your ideas on that?
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:02:35 PM): "God stole my dad... What a dick!"
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:03:10 PM): he did not steal Him Demir.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:03:21 PM): He brought him Home.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:03:38 PM): beacause we are but passer-bys on this earth
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:03:45 PM): Considering what my dad went through I don't think I want to go "Home"
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:03:49 PM): i mean.. who HASN't DIED
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:04:06 PM): well God did your dad a favor
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:04:20 PM): because he knew what your dad was going through
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:04:34 PM): and He didnt want to see your dad suffer anymore. So, He just called him to come home.
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:05:23 PM): I prefer the idea that heaven doesn't exist
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:05:29 PM): And this is where we are
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:05:31 PM): And where we will be
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:05:36 PM): but haven't you ever thought about where are we gonna go when we die?
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:06:10 PM): No. Seems like if "God" is willing to forgive everyone s/he must have preeeettty low standards
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:06:39 PM): he is not willing to forgive everyone
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:06:45 PM): he HATES sin
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:06:54 PM): He hates unrighteous people
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:07:07 PM): we were all condemned to suffer in the lake of fire
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:07:13 PM): but..
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:07:26 PM): then. he Loves us (no.. God is not gay.)
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:07:48 PM): haha
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:07:56 PM): he Loves us so much, that he did not want to see His creation suffer in hell
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:03 PM): so he sent his Son.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:08 PM): his ONLY Son
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:10 PM): to die
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:08:15 PM): He's god.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:18 PM): for all of us
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:08:20 PM): I'm sure he can make another one
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:08:38 PM): God blew his load
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:08:39 PM): Funny
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:50 PM): but dont you find that sad
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:56 PM): in order for humanity to be saved
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:09:12 PM): he sacrificed His only son to die for everyone
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:09:35 PM): i dont know about you.. but if i had to sacrifice my son.. i know i cant do it
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:11:36 PM): Meh
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:11:48 PM): yeah..
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:11:56 PM): you know what
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:12:02 PM): lets drop the topic first
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:12:07 PM): Nah
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:12:12 PM): I like this topic
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:12:17 PM): ohh.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:12:19 PM): ok then
was that a beam of light? A sign of hope? He said he liked the topic. I dont know if its was because he wanted to bring Deb down or he wanted to hear more.. but Deb was sure this was God's doing.
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:31:28 PM): I kinda reached a point where I started believing that religion isn't real and that people needed a way to control the masses
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:31:32 PM): Think of it.
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:31:45 PM): There's a Big invisible guy in the sky watching over you
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:31:56 PM): If you're a bad person then you will burn in hell
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:32:06 PM): But if you're a good person then you shall go to paradise after you die
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:32:13 PM): It's a way of controling people
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:32:18 PM): Scare tactic
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:32:34 PM):haha
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:32:50 PM): youd have to understand demir
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:32:54 PM): EVERYONE IS BAD!
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:04 PM): even the person who you think is good
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:25 PM): he or she will mess up at some point
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:41 PM): and since we're all bad
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:33:44 PM): It's just something my friend and I were talking about
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:47 PM): we're all going to hell
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:57 PM): but since God doesnt want us to go to hell
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:34:05 PM): he sacrificed his own to save us
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:34:10 PM): so we could all be in heaven
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:34:24 PM): there is no such thing as you have to do good to get to heaven
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:34:26 PM): I could have swore that was something to do with Original Sin...
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:34:34 PM): or if you do bad things you'll go to hell
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:01 PM): its like a clean sheet of paper
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:19 PM): you take a pencil and doodle on the clean sheet of paper
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:38 PM): but then here comes God with his giant magic eraser..
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:35:46 PM): then the sheet slowly turns black and melts into the floor
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:47 PM): He erases the mess then your paper is as good as new!
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:53 PM): haha
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:35:56 PM): And you hear fires and a squeal!
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:36:56 PM): ...hell is a topic not to be made fun of
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:37:10 PM): hell is real
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:37:16 PM): and the devil is real
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:38:40 PM): satan is locked away in some place waiting for the day of his release
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:38:56 PM): and when that day comes.. all hell will break loose. and i mean literally
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:39:03 PM): but the thing is
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:39:10 PM): satan is condemned to loose
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:39:13 PM): and he knows that
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:39:33 PM): so he trys to find ways of making people believe there isnt a God
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:39:59 PM): Can't believe in satan if youdon't believe in god
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:40:04 PM): or he messes up their idea of Him.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:40:29 PM): well if thats what you think
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:40:45 PM): then.. too bad i guess
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:40:59 PM): Heheheh can't hurt me if it's not real
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:41:31 PM): whatever you say cousin..
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:41:46 PM): enjoy disappointment when you kick the bucket haha
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:41:59 PM): oh well.. XP if ever you have any more questions about the topic.. im an IM away.ü
In the end. Deb did not succeed in changing her cousin's mind.. but it was understandable.. no one could change that fast.
Deb's cousin was hard to talk to.. since he could be a bit discouraging with words.. but Deb's spirit is not crushed. Deb is challenged. All of a sudden she has a burden to minister to her cousin..
Deb is praying for God to help her. She asks everone to pray with her. Pray that God might grant her wisdom in speech and she would glorify Him, and that Deb's cousin might have a change of heart.
Deb will greatly appreciate it.ü
she logs-in onto ym.. and does her usual routine online..
check mail
chat with people
deviant art
gaia
friendster
multiply
and blogspot..
after about an hour, Deb's cousin pings her and chats with her. He forces her to come visit him in Australia. He asks her how shes been and she says shes exhausted because she just came from youth camp.
Curious, deb's cousin asks what its for and what its about.. and quite strangely. The topic shifts to Christianity..
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:29:44 PM): You a rather religious person?
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:30:53 PM): say it loud, say it proud. yes. I am a Christian Girl
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:31:17 PM): lulz
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:32:55 PM): I'm not
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:33:06 PM): i see
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:33:21 PM): Religion hasn't done much for me
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:33:31 PM): how so?
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:33:49 PM): Well what has it done for me?
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:35:41 PM): its not what has it done for you..
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:35:47 PM): besides cousin dear
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:35:51 PM): youd have to understand..
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:36:10 PM): that the diff bet. my religion from all other religions is that,
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:36:15 PM): its not really a religion
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:36:21 PM): its a relationship..
and thats how their heated debate on whether God or Heaven exsisted or not started.
Inside her head, deb was excited. Its been two days since she got baptised and God has already put her to the test.. but deb is also somehow afraid. Her cousin is very stubborn and she knows that he hates to loose. So she prays hard for God to work in and through her to be a good witness to her cousin..
she might not get to convince him now.. but hopefully someday.. she will.
Deb knows that probbably right now her cousin despises her. Deb does not want to offend her cousin in anyway.. but somehow she thinks she has. She prays that somehow God will perform a miracle to change her cousin's heart.
Deb is certain that if her God can calm storms and raise people from the dead.. then that same God can move hearts and change lives.
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:57:44 PM): the bible is full of s***
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:57:56 PM): hahah dont say that
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:58:04 PM): The old mainly though
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:58:24 PM): haha i know to you it sounds like nonesense
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:58:31 PM): i mean that what i thought too before
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:58:55 PM): its just a couple of bible stories about some guy who performed a few unbelievable things.. so what?
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:17 PM): but you know what i ve learned?
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:59:24 PM): Not really, no.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:28 PM): that.. the bible is a loooooooooooooooong love letter
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:31 PM): to me
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:40 PM): to MEEEE
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:59:44 PM): lol
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 2:59:49 PM): Filos are crazy... x]
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 2:59:57 PM): haha hey, you're half filo
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:00:01 PM): so yer half crazy
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:00:07 PM): but seriously
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:00:17 PM): its answered a lot of questions for me
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:00:17 PM): yeah but Half sane too
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:00:33 PM): and its comforted me when nobody with skin on could comfort me
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:01:39 PM): Not to mention everyone giving me the whole "God must have something planned and s'he must have something greater planned"
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:02:05 PM): haha why what are your ideas on that?
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:02:35 PM): "God stole my dad... What a dick!"
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:03:10 PM): he did not steal Him Demir.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:03:21 PM): He brought him Home.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:03:38 PM): beacause we are but passer-bys on this earth
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:03:45 PM): Considering what my dad went through I don't think I want to go "Home"
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:03:49 PM): i mean.. who HASN't DIED
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:04:06 PM): well God did your dad a favor
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:04:20 PM): because he knew what your dad was going through
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:04:34 PM): and He didnt want to see your dad suffer anymore. So, He just called him to come home.
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:05:23 PM): I prefer the idea that heaven doesn't exist
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:05:29 PM): And this is where we are
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:05:31 PM): And where we will be
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:05:36 PM): but haven't you ever thought about where are we gonna go when we die?
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:06:10 PM): No. Seems like if "God" is willing to forgive everyone s/he must have preeeettty low standards
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:06:39 PM): he is not willing to forgive everyone
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:06:45 PM): he HATES sin
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:06:54 PM): He hates unrighteous people
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:07:07 PM): we were all condemned to suffer in the lake of fire
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:07:13 PM): but..
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:07:26 PM): then. he Loves us (no.. God is not gay.)
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:07:48 PM): haha
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:07:56 PM): he Loves us so much, that he did not want to see His creation suffer in hell
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:03 PM): so he sent his Son.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:08 PM): his ONLY Son
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:10 PM): to die
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:08:15 PM): He's god.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:18 PM): for all of us
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:08:20 PM): I'm sure he can make another one
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:08:38 PM): God blew his load
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:08:39 PM): Funny
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:50 PM): but dont you find that sad
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:08:56 PM): in order for humanity to be saved
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:09:12 PM): he sacrificed His only son to die for everyone
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:09:35 PM): i dont know about you.. but if i had to sacrifice my son.. i know i cant do it
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:11:36 PM): Meh
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:11:48 PM): yeah..
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:11:56 PM): you know what
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:12:02 PM): lets drop the topic first
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:12:07 PM): Nah
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:12:12 PM): I like this topic
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:12:17 PM): ohh.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:12:19 PM): ok then
was that a beam of light? A sign of hope? He said he liked the topic. I dont know if its was because he wanted to bring Deb down or he wanted to hear more.. but Deb was sure this was God's doing.
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:31:28 PM): I kinda reached a point where I started believing that religion isn't real and that people needed a way to control the masses
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:31:32 PM): Think of it.
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:31:45 PM): There's a Big invisible guy in the sky watching over you
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:31:56 PM): If you're a bad person then you will burn in hell
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:32:06 PM): But if you're a good person then you shall go to paradise after you die
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:32:13 PM): It's a way of controling people
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:32:18 PM): Scare tactic
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:32:34 PM):haha
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:32:50 PM): youd have to understand demir
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:32:54 PM): EVERYONE IS BAD!
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:04 PM): even the person who you think is good
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:25 PM): he or she will mess up at some point
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:41 PM): and since we're all bad
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:33:44 PM): It's just something my friend and I were talking about
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:47 PM): we're all going to hell
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:33:57 PM): but since God doesnt want us to go to hell
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:34:05 PM): he sacrificed his own to save us
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:34:10 PM): so we could all be in heaven
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:34:24 PM): there is no such thing as you have to do good to get to heaven
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:34:26 PM): I could have swore that was something to do with Original Sin...
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:34:34 PM): or if you do bad things you'll go to hell
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:01 PM): its like a clean sheet of paper
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:19 PM): you take a pencil and doodle on the clean sheet of paper
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:38 PM): but then here comes God with his giant magic eraser..
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:35:46 PM): then the sheet slowly turns black and melts into the floor
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:47 PM): He erases the mess then your paper is as good as new!
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:35:53 PM): haha
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:35:56 PM): And you hear fires and a squeal!
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:36:56 PM): ...hell is a topic not to be made fun of
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:37:10 PM): hell is real
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:37:16 PM): and the devil is real
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:38:40 PM): satan is locked away in some place waiting for the day of his release
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:38:56 PM): and when that day comes.. all hell will break loose. and i mean literally
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:39:03 PM): but the thing is
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:39:10 PM): satan is condemned to loose
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:39:13 PM): and he knows that
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:39:33 PM): so he trys to find ways of making people believe there isnt a God
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:39:59 PM): Can't believe in satan if youdon't believe in god
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:40:04 PM): or he messes up their idea of Him.
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:40:29 PM): well if thats what you think
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:40:45 PM): then.. too bad i guess
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:40:59 PM): Heheheh can't hurt me if it's not real
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:41:31 PM): whatever you say cousin..
:( JollyPong (4/25/2007 3:41:46 PM): enjoy disappointment when you kick the bucket haha
dcjvicta_25 (4/25/2007 3:41:59 PM): oh well.. XP if ever you have any more questions about the topic.. im an IM away.ü
In the end. Deb did not succeed in changing her cousin's mind.. but it was understandable.. no one could change that fast.
Deb's cousin was hard to talk to.. since he could be a bit discouraging with words.. but Deb's spirit is not crushed. Deb is challenged. All of a sudden she has a burden to minister to her cousin..
Deb is praying for God to help her. She asks everone to pray with her. Pray that God might grant her wisdom in speech and she would glorify Him, and that Deb's cousin might have a change of heart.
Deb will greatly appreciate it.ü
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Realizations
Camp is a few days away na pala..
YOU KNOW WHAT JUST HIT ME?!
Its the fact that everytime something or someone is drawing my attention AWAY from God..
He takes it away.
first (and second) was my phone..
and then Lord-knows-what (or who :P)
wala lang..
I just hope I dont loose anything this time. XD
YOU KNOW WHAT JUST HIT ME?!
Its the fact that everytime something or someone is drawing my attention AWAY from God..
He takes it away.
first (and second) was my phone..
and then Lord-knows-what (or who :P)
wala lang..
I just hope I dont loose anything this time. XD
Sunday, April 15, 2007
"Confused Yet Hoping"
God,
I dont fully understand, but I am putting my complete faith in You.
Lord, I love them. You know I do.. so I leave everything in Your Hands. I know you're going to work things out, make things right again. Just as you always do.
Im a bit afraid though.. im still doubting. But God, If this is not from you.. then take it away. I know you are bigger and greater than all of these things.. so who am I to even feel this way. I have no right Lord.
If You can move mountains, calm raging storms and raise people from the dead.. then I know you can touch hearts of stone, move people, mend broken relationships, bring back trust and make families whole again.
I know what I am saying is a bit out of line and selfish of me.. but you know Lord how much I love them. I know you love them even more than I do..
If there is a lesson to learn or a sin to avoid.. let it be known God, that this fighting would stop.
I dont get it God. One mistake. And that will cause them to stop talking to each other? now they cant stand being in the same room? and they pass each other by like complete strangers?
I dont want to see them like this.
All this childish-nonesense and bitterness. It all seems too familiar. Yet in someway, it is different.
A different commitment. A different responsibility.
A different commitment. A different responsibility.
I know that there is a reason for all of this.. so I'll just trust You God.
In Jesus' Name..
Amen
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Beach stories
well, basically i wanted to make a post about 3 things I experienced (or learned) during my holy week vacation.
- "We're all under the same sky... and the world has conspired us to be together."
- Jumping off cliffs is like trusting God
- "If sunsets remain forever, there would be no new days."
seeing that Rebeks already made a post on the 1st one (check out her blog: http://20six.co.uk/dayoff/art/609950)
and then I made an article on the 2nd so I guess all thats left is the last part..
(first.. some lyrics!)
All Good Things (Come To An End)- Nelly Furtado
Honestly what will become of me
Don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming
(*)Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?
Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why
(*)
Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die
(*)
Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day'til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling and the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die...
Lets face it, no matter how beautiful something is... It always has to end at somepoint in time. If beauty stayed forever, then it wouldn't really be beautiful anymore, you would probbably get fed up looking at it, as Beks told me during our chat, whats the use of having something stay the same, when its not as beautiful as it was the first look.
Like sunsets. Even if you want it to stay forever, you can't. because if you do.. then there would be no tomorrow. And if there was no tomorrow, how can we start anew?
but we'd have to admit.. sometimes we wish that some good things will never end.
Like love or friendship..
so now i wonder..
Is it actually possible for these things to end?
Can love between two people one day, disappear?
Can two paths that God allowed to meet, part ways at some point in time?
I hope I never find the answers to those questions.
because if I do.. then i would wish that these beautiful things that would never end..
never should've even started.
*sigh*
Thursday, April 12, 2007
That One Step
*another article I made for Jchron. enjoy!
Have you ever heard of the saying “Take a leap of faith”? Meaning, to let go of whatever is holding you back and just go for it. Well, I believe I have lived up to that statement.
I had the pleasure of spending my Holy Week in Batangas with my family and some close friends a few weeks ago. And as a part of our trip, Tito Jack took us to a nearby island to go cliff diving.
Now I know what you’re all thinking... “Oooh! Cliff diving!” But let me tell you, it is not as easy as it sounds.
Sure it seems fun, jumping off a 20-foot cliff with no life vest on and only the vicious ocean and its waves waiting for at the bottom, but really. Once you’re up there… it’ll seem like the longest 60-seconds of your life.
So there I was. 20 feet above the air and my knees shaking like jackhammers. At that moment it was as if time stood still. There would be times when I could feel my legs twitch, signaling me to jump. But they were brief so the fear would start to kick in and my legs wouldn’t budge again. I had a “good” and “bad” (ok, not necessarily bad) conscience that time. My good conscience was Ate Mika, (my discipler) who was saying:
“Debbie, we don’t have to do this now, we could just get off this 1st cliff (aka- a gimongous ROCK) and swim back to the boat.”
Then there’s the “other” conscience- Bekah, Nico, and Mackey; who were all waiting for me at the bottom (incase I “drown” again, but that’s another story ;p) telling me:
“DEB! YOU ARE GOING TO MISS HALF OF YOUR LIFE IF YOU DON’T JUMP NOW AND WE ASSURE YOU THAT YOU’LL REGRET IT!!! SO JUMP NOW!!”
“Arrrggh!!” was all I could reply to both. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to do this. I really wanted to jump. But problem was, my fear and doubt of Lord-knows-what was taking over and was making me pull back.
Then all the way out in the middle of the ocean I could hear my dad and Tito Jack cry out.
“Its just one step Debs. One step and it’ll all be over.” My dad said.
Then Tito Jack adds “just look where you wanna land, look into the horizon, and jump!”
Now, before I tell you the rest of my story, let’s contemplate a bit.
Was there ever something in your life you wanted done, but never got enough guts to take that one step of faith?
What held you back? Was it fear? Fear of getting hurt or fear of what other people might think of you? Or was it doubt? Those constant “what if…” questions that run in your head?
Well whatever it is, let it go. Because seriously, who are we to doubt? We have an all-powerful, all-knowing, and compassionate God, who will make sure everything goes His way. Why His way? Because having things done OUR way sucks.
Let me put it this way, have you ever tried swimming in the ocean when the tide is high and the waves are rough? Well I have. I tried swimming in the ocean using MY style. I tried conquering the wave instead of just being one with it. Because really, you CAN’T fight a wave, it’s too strong. So instead of fighting it, be one with it. Adjust, put aside your swimming style and change it to match the flow of the waves so that you wouldn’t wear yourself out and drown. (hehe. Love you Rebeks! ^_^)
His ways are perfect. We may not like them sometimes, but He assures us that they are for the best.
Hey, even Jesus was afraid to die the night they arrested Him. He even begged His Almighty Father to spare Him. But then- He knew that in order for God’s plan to save mankind to be fulfilled. He had to set aside His fear and fully trust in His Father.
In the words of King David:
“The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strong hold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?” (Ps. 27:1)
Then there’s what Tito Jack said: “just look where you wanna land, look into the horizon and jump”
If I’m going to trust God, all I have to do is look forward and let myself go.
And I did.
Yes, I did jump. And I’m glad I did.
Yeah, it took me longer than expected (more like 20 mins!!) and considering the fact that the fall was the longest 2 seconds of my life with the question screaming in my head “When am I gonna hit the water?!?!?”
And goodness, I did NOT look pretty doing it. (go ahead, ask me!! :p)
But who cares right?! I jumped! And that’s all that matters! So in the end it was all worth it.
All until I came out of the water gasping for air yelling: “ANG SAKIT NG PWET KO!!!” Xb
Have you ever heard of the saying “Take a leap of faith”? Meaning, to let go of whatever is holding you back and just go for it. Well, I believe I have lived up to that statement.
I had the pleasure of spending my Holy Week in Batangas with my family and some close friends a few weeks ago. And as a part of our trip, Tito Jack took us to a nearby island to go cliff diving.
Now I know what you’re all thinking... “Oooh! Cliff diving!” But let me tell you, it is not as easy as it sounds.
Sure it seems fun, jumping off a 20-foot cliff with no life vest on and only the vicious ocean and its waves waiting for at the bottom, but really. Once you’re up there… it’ll seem like the longest 60-seconds of your life.
So there I was. 20 feet above the air and my knees shaking like jackhammers. At that moment it was as if time stood still. There would be times when I could feel my legs twitch, signaling me to jump. But they were brief so the fear would start to kick in and my legs wouldn’t budge again. I had a “good” and “bad” (ok, not necessarily bad) conscience that time. My good conscience was Ate Mika, (my discipler) who was saying:
“Debbie, we don’t have to do this now, we could just get off this 1st cliff (aka- a gimongous ROCK) and swim back to the boat.”
Then there’s the “other” conscience- Bekah, Nico, and Mackey; who were all waiting for me at the bottom (incase I “drown” again, but that’s another story ;p) telling me:
“DEB! YOU ARE GOING TO MISS HALF OF YOUR LIFE IF YOU DON’T JUMP NOW AND WE ASSURE YOU THAT YOU’LL REGRET IT!!! SO JUMP NOW!!”
“Arrrggh!!” was all I could reply to both. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to do this. I really wanted to jump. But problem was, my fear and doubt of Lord-knows-what was taking over and was making me pull back.
Then all the way out in the middle of the ocean I could hear my dad and Tito Jack cry out.
“Its just one step Debs. One step and it’ll all be over.” My dad said.
Then Tito Jack adds “just look where you wanna land, look into the horizon, and jump!”
Now, before I tell you the rest of my story, let’s contemplate a bit.
Was there ever something in your life you wanted done, but never got enough guts to take that one step of faith?
What held you back? Was it fear? Fear of getting hurt or fear of what other people might think of you? Or was it doubt? Those constant “what if…” questions that run in your head?
Well whatever it is, let it go. Because seriously, who are we to doubt? We have an all-powerful, all-knowing, and compassionate God, who will make sure everything goes His way. Why His way? Because having things done OUR way sucks.
Let me put it this way, have you ever tried swimming in the ocean when the tide is high and the waves are rough? Well I have. I tried swimming in the ocean using MY style. I tried conquering the wave instead of just being one with it. Because really, you CAN’T fight a wave, it’s too strong. So instead of fighting it, be one with it. Adjust, put aside your swimming style and change it to match the flow of the waves so that you wouldn’t wear yourself out and drown. (hehe. Love you Rebeks! ^_^)
His ways are perfect. We may not like them sometimes, but He assures us that they are for the best.
Hey, even Jesus was afraid to die the night they arrested Him. He even begged His Almighty Father to spare Him. But then- He knew that in order for God’s plan to save mankind to be fulfilled. He had to set aside His fear and fully trust in His Father.
In the words of King David:
“The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strong hold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?” (Ps. 27:1)
Then there’s what Tito Jack said: “just look where you wanna land, look into the horizon and jump”
If I’m going to trust God, all I have to do is look forward and let myself go.
And I did.
Yes, I did jump. And I’m glad I did.
Yeah, it took me longer than expected (more like 20 mins!!) and considering the fact that the fall was the longest 2 seconds of my life with the question screaming in my head “When am I gonna hit the water?!?!?”
And goodness, I did NOT look pretty doing it. (go ahead, ask me!! :p)
But who cares right?! I jumped! And that’s all that matters! So in the end it was all worth it.
All until I came out of the water gasping for air yelling: “ANG SAKIT NG PWET KO!!!” Xb
Monday, April 2, 2007
Getting back to Basics
w00t! first official week of summer!
It hasn't really started yet, but boy, am I exhausted.. so many things to do.. so many places to go.. yet so little time. (you should see my planner)
Im keeping myself busy these days, and i happen to like it. (just like how i happend to like being bitter, but that was a looong time ago, thank God im over it. XP) Its no wonder i get sick easily.. but anywho i guess its ok, because it helps me stay focused.
But lately, i've asked myself.. what AM i focused on.. really?
Yeah, sure "he's" finally out of the picture.. so basically my world doesn't revolve around him anymore.
But with the way i'm living my life.. I wonder..
Does my world revolve around the Person it should be revolving around?Or am I too busy keeping myself busy that I forgot the sole purpose why im trying to keep myself busy?
wait.. that sounds redundant.
anyway, main point is:
I think i've been too caught up in my own world (as usual) that God is slowly getting out of the picture. Maybe.. just maybe, thats the reason why my life is so...
uhh.. whats the word im looking for?
..plain?
I wanna fall in love with you all over again...
It hasn't really started yet, but boy, am I exhausted.. so many things to do.. so many places to go.. yet so little time. (you should see my planner)
Im keeping myself busy these days, and i happen to like it. (just like how i happend to like being bitter, but that was a looong time ago, thank God im over it. XP) Its no wonder i get sick easily.. but anywho i guess its ok, because it helps me stay focused.
But lately, i've asked myself.. what AM i focused on.. really?
Yeah, sure "he's" finally out of the picture.. so basically my world doesn't revolve around him anymore.
But with the way i'm living my life.. I wonder..
Does my world revolve around the Person it should be revolving around?Or am I too busy keeping myself busy that I forgot the sole purpose why im trying to keep myself busy?
wait.. that sounds redundant.
anyway, main point is:
I think i've been too caught up in my own world (as usual) that God is slowly getting out of the picture. Maybe.. just maybe, thats the reason why my life is so...
uhh.. whats the word im looking for?
..plain?
*haii* i guess if i really wanna move forward I should refocus my life, and start living it the way He would want me to live it.
I wanna fall in love with you all over again...
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Take courage
Give us ears to hear that still small voice
Give us lips forever willing to rejoice
And may our hearts be lit with wisdom
Knowing You will lead us through
And we'll march with hearts courageous after You
We're marching on with hearts courageous
We'll follow anywhere you want us to
And should You lead where the battle rages
Let us march with hearts courageous after you
And when sorrow dims the light along our way
Help us to see each time of darkness
Through eyes of faith
A time for hope, a time for courage
Knowing you will lead us through
And we'll march with hearts courageous after you
This is not the end my dear friends. Only the beggining.
Although our paths, which once, have crossed, must now go their seperate ways...
you will always be remembered. You will always be loved and cherished.
Always.
*Thrid Year Ephesians batch 2006-2007*
Give us lips forever willing to rejoice
And may our hearts be lit with wisdom
Knowing You will lead us through
And we'll march with hearts courageous after You
We're marching on with hearts courageous
We'll follow anywhere you want us to
And should You lead where the battle rages
Let us march with hearts courageous after you
And when sorrow dims the light along our way
Help us to see each time of darkness
Through eyes of faith
A time for hope, a time for courage
Knowing you will lead us through
And we'll march with hearts courageous after you
This is not the end my dear friends. Only the beggining.
Although our paths, which once, have crossed, must now go their seperate ways...
you will always be remembered. You will always be loved and cherished.
Always.
*Thrid Year Ephesians batch 2006-2007*
Monday, March 19, 2007
Out with the old, In with the new.
This is it.
I finally have enough proof that I dont need you in my life anymore.
I have learned that what you say could go a long way. (Just ask me what I just happend to read in the newspaper - freaky) You never know who'll hear you.
Well I for one, have heard enough.
Im through with this.
through with the hate
through with the anger
through with bitterness
im through hoping
through praying that you'll be back
through daydreaming
Im through with you. I've had enough. And this time, I won't look back anymore.
Besides, I already know its not you. Why else would the Almighty take you away from me... twice?
I wont be fake. We do have to talk, but im afraid. Im afraid that if I do, it might remind me of the past.. It might rekindle old feelings.. and things might.. "happen."
And I don't wanna look like umaasa ako (like what you THINK would happen)
Heck, I dare not even hope. Why? Do I purposely want to get my heartbroken by the same person a thrid time? I must be a real dumb-ass if that would happen. (pardon my language, but yes. I have had quite enough of myself being so naive.) so i'm really trying to avoid that.
I just dont want anyone to get hurt. Specifically myself.
Yes, i do want to be friends with you again. But the problem is, the gap between us has grown too large. So large, that you've become a stranger to me.
Now tell me, if a complete stranger would come up to you and ask. "hi debs, musta na? Balita ko masaya ka ah." Wouldn't you find that annoyingly akward?
We need to go back to square one.
I finally have enough proof that I dont need you in my life anymore.
I have learned that what you say could go a long way. (Just ask me what I just happend to read in the newspaper - freaky) You never know who'll hear you.
Well I for one, have heard enough.
Im through with this.
through with the hate
through with the anger
through with bitterness
im through hoping
through praying that you'll be back
through daydreaming
Im through with you. I've had enough. And this time, I won't look back anymore.
Besides, I already know its not you. Why else would the Almighty take you away from me... twice?
I wont be fake. We do have to talk, but im afraid. Im afraid that if I do, it might remind me of the past.. It might rekindle old feelings.. and things might.. "happen."
And I don't wanna look like umaasa ako (like what you THINK would happen)
Heck, I dare not even hope. Why? Do I purposely want to get my heartbroken by the same person a thrid time? I must be a real dumb-ass if that would happen. (pardon my language, but yes. I have had quite enough of myself being so naive.) so i'm really trying to avoid that.
I just dont want anyone to get hurt. Specifically myself.
Yes, i do want to be friends with you again. But the problem is, the gap between us has grown too large. So large, that you've become a stranger to me.
Now tell me, if a complete stranger would come up to you and ask. "hi debs, musta na? Balita ko masaya ka ah." Wouldn't you find that annoyingly akward?
We need to go back to square one.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
"Only Reminds Me Of You" by M.Y.M.P.
I see you, beside me
It’s only a dream
A vision of what used to be
The laughter, the sorrow
Pictures in time
Fading to memory
How could I ever let you go?
Is it too late to let you know?
[chorus]
I try to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When I turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you
I needed my freedom
This what I’ve thought
But I was a fool to believe
My heart lied while you cried
Rivers of tears
But I was too blind to see
Everything we’ve been through before
Now it means so much more
I try to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When I turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you...
Only you...
So come back to me
I’m down on my knees
Boy can’t you see
How could I ever let you go?
Is it too late to let you know?
I try to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When I turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you
It’s only a dream
A vision of what used to be
The laughter, the sorrow
Pictures in time
Fading to memory
How could I ever let you go?
Is it too late to let you know?
[chorus]
I try to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When I turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you
I needed my freedom
This what I’ve thought
But I was a fool to believe
My heart lied while you cried
Rivers of tears
But I was too blind to see
Everything we’ve been through before
Now it means so much more
I try to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When I turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you...
Only you...
So come back to me
I’m down on my knees
Boy can’t you see
How could I ever let you go?
Is it too late to let you know?
I try to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When I turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you
Sunday, March 11, 2007
The Reality.
The room was quiet. She sat down silently on her bed and folded her hands. She doesn't say a word, but deep inside she is restless. Her heart was aching and her head going in circles. What could she do? She knows that this is her weakness... being torn between 2 emotions. She closes her eyes, and for a brief moment, time stood still as she tried to reacall everything that happend just the past hour. She thought long and hard. Trying to reacall even the tiniest detail. The events happened so fast, so it was all a blurr... the emotion building up inside of her was making it hard for her to concentrate. She shut her eyes tighter and cleared her mind.. Then the daydream started playing in her mind...
She wanted to be alone, really. Find someplace quiet so she could hear herself think. It's been a long day with her friends and now that she's all by herself she could finally relax.
Or so she thought.
By the corner of her eye she saw a figure walk in.
He was tall and dark and he seemed to be looking for something.. or someone. When she finally focused her eyes in that direction to see who the stranger was.. she was awestruck.
"Oh God, its him."
She knew it. She knew she shouldn't have come here. But a nudge inside of her told her something was going to happen. She chuckled in dismay and softly whispered. "God, its so funny how You orchestrate things like this..."
He walks into the cafe with a goofy smile on his face. He approaches her.
"I had a feeling you'd be here" he said.
"oh? how so?"
"a bird told me. So do you mind if I keep you company?"
She shrugged her shoulders... What else could she do? It would be rude if she sent him away.
she got up and spoke, "lets take a walk, shall we?"
So out they went, around the town. Conversing as regular "friends" would.
But they're not friends. They're not ok. And they both know that.
Along the way, he does all the talking. She just listens.
He hasn't changed. He's still the same self-centered guy she used to know.
"this is why I ended things with you..." she thought to herself.
It's been 7 long hard months without each other. Nobody in their circle expected it. They thought that they would last. Before, they'd seem to be inseperable.. but now.. this is all thats left.
Broken hearts, and a broken friendship.
But today could be the start of rebuilding both.
They walk into the public library and looked around. He sees her, her eyes gleaming looking at one shelf after another. He smiled.
She hasn't changed. She's still the same free-spirited girl he used to know.
"she always loved books. I miss that." he thought to himself and smiled.
He walks forward and finds a book for himself.
as he walks she looks at him from behind.
"what could be on his mind?" she thinks.
She stared at him. She stared at him for a long time. Then she shook her head and spoke aloud..
"I shouldn't be thinking this way! This is wrong.."
a tear falls from her eye and she quickly wipes it off..
"get a hold of yourself... just stop hoping." she whispers to herself.
"What's that?" he asks. She didn't notice him approaching her.
"Oh, nothing." she looked away.
The akwardness gets the best of them and they dont say a word.
She breaks the silence. "Hey... if you have to go now, its fine by me.. i'll be ok here." she looked his way as she told him.
He looked into her eyes and smiled. "You won't get rid of me that easily." he chuckled.
Then she noticed it.
That smile. That sweet smile that made her heart melt every time. That smile that went so well with his dark brown eyes. His special smile, the one that was reserved only for her. She almost forgot what it looked like. She forgot how it made her feel. And now that she's seen it again.. she remembers. She remembers how it used to make her day. She felt a sharp pain in her chest. The blood inside her.. rushing throughout her body. She almost cried. He sensed it.
"Whats the matter?"
she was frantic.. she couldn't let him know that she was hurting.
"uhh.. its just some dust that probably flew into my eye. These books are really old!"
they both laughed.
He walked away to look for a table. She just watched from afar.
"i'd be crazy not to love that smile... I miss it."
He sits down by the table and thinks.
He wonders how many times he's made her cry since the day they parted. He remembers he promised he'll be the one to stop her from crying. But now that he's gone.. who will?
He shakes his head. He knows he broke up with her for a reason. A good reason. And he wont be swayed, even if his heart tells him otherwise.
His cellphone rings.
after knowing who it was on the other line he gets up and walks to her.
he sees her, talking on her cellphone. She seems happy. He wonders who's on the other line.
He tries to get close. He wanted to say goodbye. He had to go. As in, right now.
Luckily, she hangs up. She sighs and bows her head. Then she sees him come near.
"I have to go.."
"Oh.. Alright. Well, take care."
"See you around i guess.. God bless."
"yeah, you too."
So he left. And in a hurry too.
She sighs. They got lucky today. Often times when they leave, they greet everyone else except each other. Not even so much as a goodbye.
Before, when they were still together they'd kiss when they'd part. They'd hold on to each other like there was no tomorrow. But now, usually just a hi-five or a simple greet.. other times nothing at all.
but today, it was just the two of them. It would have been rude if they didn't talked to each other still..
She opened her eyes and tears rolled down from them. This was the hurtful reality she had to face. Its over now.. its probably gonna be like this for the rest of her life. She doesn't think theres gonna be a chance for them to be together again. In Fact. He just might like someone new now..
She thought she did once. Liked someone new. But she was wrong. She has learned not to replace an old feeling with a new one. She has learned that she could actually get by without having to have "someone new.."
she denied herself. She knew that the only reason why she says this is because silently her heart is still pushing her to wait. To not loose hope..
Yes, she IS still holding on. Even if she's doing it unconciously.
She thought she got over him, But she was wrong.
He'll never know what demons she had to fight when she was with him.
She'll never know what was on his mind that night.
He'll never know that she cried for him.
He'll never know that she still cares
He'll never know that she still loves him.
Its over now. She could only hope.
She wanted to be alone, really. Find someplace quiet so she could hear herself think. It's been a long day with her friends and now that she's all by herself she could finally relax.
Or so she thought.
By the corner of her eye she saw a figure walk in.
He was tall and dark and he seemed to be looking for something.. or someone. When she finally focused her eyes in that direction to see who the stranger was.. she was awestruck.
"Oh God, its him."
She knew it. She knew she shouldn't have come here. But a nudge inside of her told her something was going to happen. She chuckled in dismay and softly whispered. "God, its so funny how You orchestrate things like this..."
He walks into the cafe with a goofy smile on his face. He approaches her.
"I had a feeling you'd be here" he said.
"oh? how so?"
"a bird told me. So do you mind if I keep you company?"
She shrugged her shoulders... What else could she do? It would be rude if she sent him away.
she got up and spoke, "lets take a walk, shall we?"
So out they went, around the town. Conversing as regular "friends" would.
But they're not friends. They're not ok. And they both know that.
Along the way, he does all the talking. She just listens.
He hasn't changed. He's still the same self-centered guy she used to know.
"this is why I ended things with you..." she thought to herself.
It's been 7 long hard months without each other. Nobody in their circle expected it. They thought that they would last. Before, they'd seem to be inseperable.. but now.. this is all thats left.
Broken hearts, and a broken friendship.
But today could be the start of rebuilding both.
They walk into the public library and looked around. He sees her, her eyes gleaming looking at one shelf after another. He smiled.
She hasn't changed. She's still the same free-spirited girl he used to know.
"she always loved books. I miss that." he thought to himself and smiled.
He walks forward and finds a book for himself.
as he walks she looks at him from behind.
"what could be on his mind?" she thinks.
She stared at him. She stared at him for a long time. Then she shook her head and spoke aloud..
"I shouldn't be thinking this way! This is wrong.."
a tear falls from her eye and she quickly wipes it off..
"get a hold of yourself... just stop hoping." she whispers to herself.
"What's that?" he asks. She didn't notice him approaching her.
"Oh, nothing." she looked away.
The akwardness gets the best of them and they dont say a word.
She breaks the silence. "Hey... if you have to go now, its fine by me.. i'll be ok here." she looked his way as she told him.
He looked into her eyes and smiled. "You won't get rid of me that easily." he chuckled.
Then she noticed it.
That smile. That sweet smile that made her heart melt every time. That smile that went so well with his dark brown eyes. His special smile, the one that was reserved only for her. She almost forgot what it looked like. She forgot how it made her feel. And now that she's seen it again.. she remembers. She remembers how it used to make her day. She felt a sharp pain in her chest. The blood inside her.. rushing throughout her body. She almost cried. He sensed it.
"Whats the matter?"
she was frantic.. she couldn't let him know that she was hurting.
"uhh.. its just some dust that probably flew into my eye. These books are really old!"
they both laughed.
He walked away to look for a table. She just watched from afar.
"i'd be crazy not to love that smile... I miss it."
He sits down by the table and thinks.
He wonders how many times he's made her cry since the day they parted. He remembers he promised he'll be the one to stop her from crying. But now that he's gone.. who will?
He shakes his head. He knows he broke up with her for a reason. A good reason. And he wont be swayed, even if his heart tells him otherwise.
His cellphone rings.
after knowing who it was on the other line he gets up and walks to her.
he sees her, talking on her cellphone. She seems happy. He wonders who's on the other line.
He tries to get close. He wanted to say goodbye. He had to go. As in, right now.
Luckily, she hangs up. She sighs and bows her head. Then she sees him come near.
"I have to go.."
"Oh.. Alright. Well, take care."
"See you around i guess.. God bless."
"yeah, you too."
So he left. And in a hurry too.
She sighs. They got lucky today. Often times when they leave, they greet everyone else except each other. Not even so much as a goodbye.
Before, when they were still together they'd kiss when they'd part. They'd hold on to each other like there was no tomorrow. But now, usually just a hi-five or a simple greet.. other times nothing at all.
but today, it was just the two of them. It would have been rude if they didn't talked to each other still..
She opened her eyes and tears rolled down from them. This was the hurtful reality she had to face. Its over now.. its probably gonna be like this for the rest of her life. She doesn't think theres gonna be a chance for them to be together again. In Fact. He just might like someone new now..
She thought she did once. Liked someone new. But she was wrong. She has learned not to replace an old feeling with a new one. She has learned that she could actually get by without having to have "someone new.."
she denied herself. She knew that the only reason why she says this is because silently her heart is still pushing her to wait. To not loose hope..
Yes, she IS still holding on. Even if she's doing it unconciously.
She thought she got over him, But she was wrong.
He'll never know what demons she had to fight when she was with him.
She'll never know what was on his mind that night.
He'll never know that she cried for him.
He'll never know that she still cares
He'll never know that she still loves him.
Its over now. She could only hope.
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