The Reality.

The room was quiet. She sat down silently on her bed and folded her hands. She doesn't say a word, but deep inside she is restless. Her heart was aching and her head going in circles. What could she do? She knows that this is her weakness... being torn between 2 emotions. She closes her eyes, and for a brief moment, time stood still as she tried to reacall everything that happend just the past hour. She thought long and hard. Trying to reacall even the tiniest detail. The events happened so fast, so it was all a blurr... the emotion building up inside of her was making it hard for her to concentrate. She shut her eyes tighter and cleared her mind.. Then the daydream started playing in her mind...


She wanted to be alone, really. Find someplace quiet so she could hear herself think. It's been a long day with her friends and now that she's all by herself she could finally relax.

Or so she thought.
By the corner of her eye she saw a figure walk in.
He was tall and dark and he seemed to be looking for something.. or someone. When she finally focused her eyes in that direction to see who the stranger was.. she was awestruck.

"Oh God, its him."

She knew it. She knew she shouldn't have come here. But a nudge inside of her told her something was going to happen. She chuckled in dismay and softly whispered. "God, its so funny how You orchestrate things like this..."

He walks into the cafe with a goofy smile on his face. He approaches her.
"I had a feeling you'd be here" he said.
"oh? how so?"
"a bird told me. So do you mind if I keep you company?"
She shrugged her shoulders... What else could she do? It would be rude if she sent him away.

she got up and spoke, "lets take a walk, shall we?"

So out they went, around the town. Conversing as regular "friends" would.
But they're not friends. They're not ok. And they both know that.

Along the way, he does all the talking. She just listens.
He hasn't changed. He's still the same self-centered guy she used to know.
"this is why I ended things with you..." she thought to herself.

It's been 7 long hard months without each other. Nobody in their circle expected it. They thought that they would last. Before, they'd seem to be inseperable.. but now.. this is all thats left.
Broken hearts, and a broken friendship.
But today could be the start of rebuilding both.

They walk into the public library and looked around. He sees her, her eyes gleaming looking at one shelf after another. He smiled.
She hasn't changed. She's still the same free-spirited girl he used to know.
"she always loved books. I miss that." he thought to himself and smiled.
He walks forward and finds a book for himself.

as he walks she looks at him from behind.
"what could be on his mind?" she thinks.
She stared at him. She stared at him for a long time. Then she shook her head and spoke aloud..
"I shouldn't be thinking this way! This is wrong.."
a tear falls from her eye and she quickly wipes it off..
"get a hold of yourself... just stop hoping." she whispers to herself.
"What's that?" he asks. She didn't notice him approaching her.
"Oh, nothing." she looked away.
The akwardness gets the best of them and they dont say a word.
She breaks the silence. "Hey... if you have to go now, its fine by me.. i'll be ok here." she looked his way as she told him.

He looked into her eyes and smiled. "You won't get rid of me that easily." he chuckled.
Then she noticed it.
That smile. That sweet smile that made her heart melt every time. That smile that went so well with his dark brown eyes. His special smile, the one that was reserved only for her. She almost forgot what it looked like. She forgot how it made her feel. And now that she's seen it again.. she remembers. She remembers how it used to make her day. She felt a sharp pain in her chest. The blood inside her.. rushing throughout her body. She almost cried. He sensed it.

"Whats the matter?"
she was frantic.. she couldn't let him know that she was hurting.
"uhh.. its just some dust that probably flew into my eye. These books are really old!"
they both laughed.

He walked away to look for a table. She just watched from afar.
"i'd be crazy not to love that smile... I miss it."

He sits down by the table and thinks.
He wonders how many times he's made her cry since the day they parted. He remembers he promised he'll be the one to stop her from crying. But now that he's gone.. who will?
He shakes his head. He knows he broke up with her for a reason. A good reason. And he wont be swayed, even if his heart tells him otherwise.

His cellphone rings.
after knowing who it was on the other line he gets up and walks to her.
he sees her, talking on her cellphone. She seems happy. He wonders who's on the other line.
He tries to get close. He wanted to say goodbye. He had to go. As in, right now.

Luckily, she hangs up. She sighs and bows her head. Then she sees him come near.
"I have to go.."
"Oh.. Alright. Well, take care."
"See you around i guess.. God bless."
"yeah, you too."

So he left. And in a hurry too.
She sighs. They got lucky today. Often times when they leave, they greet everyone else except each other. Not even so much as a goodbye.
Before, when they were still together they'd kiss when they'd part. They'd hold on to each other like there was no tomorrow. But now, usually just a hi-five or a simple greet.. other times nothing at all.
but today, it was just the two of them. It would have been rude if they didn't talked to each other still..



She opened her eyes and tears rolled down from them. This was the hurtful reality she had to face. Its over now.. its probably gonna be like this for the rest of her life. She doesn't think theres gonna be a chance for them to be together again. In Fact. He just might like someone new now..

She thought she did once. Liked someone new. But she was wrong. She has learned not to replace an old feeling with a new one. She has learned that she could actually get by without having to have "someone new.."

she denied herself. She knew that the only reason why she says this is because silently her heart is still pushing her to wait. To not loose hope..

Yes, she IS still holding on. Even if she's doing it unconciously.

She thought she got over him, But she was wrong.


He'll never know what demons she had to fight when she was with him.
She'll never know what was on his mind that night.
He'll never know that she cried for him.
He'll never know that she still cares
He'll never know that she still loves him.

Its over now. She could only hope.