A bittersweet walk down memory lane.

Why is it that I can't seem to get it out of my system?
I mean.. yeah i've moved on.. its over yaddah yaddah yaddah.. but then sometimes i still find myself thinking about it everytime I wake up, or maybe smiling as the memories replay in my head just before i go to sleep.

Force of habit I presume.
This stranger who i [think] know oh-so-well. For once, I've had enough of you. I'm sick of your face popping inside my head everytime there is a chance. In fact.. IM SICK OF YOU.
Im sick of people asking me how i've been without you. Im sick of the fact that people sometimes still link me to you.
Im sick of how you are so quick to judge, sick of how you criticize people the way you do.
I mean, if my own parents can't tell me how I should worship, then what gives YOU the right to tell me how I should worship?
Who do you think you are, to go on judging peoples relationship with God like that?

*ugh*
I'd have to admit. Sometimes I envy you.
I envy your passion. I envy how you have so much zeal for God.
I think I have an idea of your burden- of wanting others to come to know Christ the way you do..
But you'd have to understand. The way to a person's heart is not by talking them down, or debating with them. Its by being gentle, and compassionate and understanding..
Its Christians like you who make Christians like us want to draw closer to God.
but then.. its Christians like you, who make Christians like us.. feel insecure and doubtful..

"You're the only one you know who carries a cross,
you don't care what they care about anyway....

You can't find the answers till you learn to question,
You won't appear stupid, just ask for direction.
You're insecure and it clouds your perception..
So stop and listen and learn a lesson in love without condition.."

Sometimes I just feel like throwing a line like that at you.
But then I think that.. What if, the words were meant for me, and not you..

I'm sorry.. (there, I said it..)

I've been critical myself. I've been mad when I shouldn't. Afterall, we're both fighting for the same reason, and that reason is God.
But then I ask.. "who's in the right?"
then again, only He can say.
Can't we just set aside our differences and live harmoniously, like how real brothers and sisters in Christ should? Lets stop this childish bickering because its really getting nowhere.. (don't you agree?)

You think we're ok.. but BOY, do we have issues..
*ugh*

It's true when they say, old habits die hard.
No no, i'm not bitter. Not at all.. really! I'm just really fed up, thats all.
God already broke me by taking you away. And thats cool and all, cause it made me draw closer to Him. But then why are you still inside my head? Are you supposed to stay there?

Maybe im not broken enough.