The Days are Numbered

(con'td)

I tried preoccupying myself when I got home so I could get my mind off what happened earlier that day. Only to find out it would come back to me 10 times worse just before I went to bed.

While praying after my evening devotion, I was moved to include Myke. I remembered everything that happened that day, the words spoken and the things left unsaid. I remember how I told me parents about it earlier in the evening, at the dinner table. Their responses ringing inside me head..


"Diba nga, sabi sa bible: "Many will call me 'Lord, Lord' but I will say to them, 'get away from Me! I never knew you."


"From the looks of it, i'd say he sounds possesed."

I thought, "Did I really just have an encounter with a demon-possesed man? Lord! I pray not!"
-I was scared. I was shaking. My fear weighed me down; or at least, something was weighing me down- and I found myself face down on my bed, crying. I couldn't move. I think I was being attacked. I rebuked the Devil outloud: "In the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour, get away from me, Satan. I am a child of God, you have no power over me."
I began to loosen up, but I was still crying. I couldn't understand what for, but I was crying so hard. In my head, I saw a horrible picture- everyone I knew and loved, family and friends, being tormented in the burning lake. Thier bodies were being eaten alive by the flames, by never fully consumed. Worms, eating their rotten flesh- and they were helpless. I felt helpless just thinking about it.

I got up and locked myself away in the bathroom, afraid my parents would hear my cries. I brought my bible with me and read Matthew 24 and Luke 21- signs of the end of the ages.
I remembered what my discipler had told me before when we took up this topic in Dgroup.. That God is coming soon. And this I believed, now more than ever. As I read on, I realized a lot of the things that were written there, was happening already, if it haven't happened yet. And more things were yet to come.
I felt a great urgency to tell people about this. Warn then. My heart screamed:
"What are you doing world?! Wake up! Get your a t together! Our days are numbered. He draws near!"
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I texted Rebeks to pray for me. I was planning to go to bed early pa naman, but my clock read 10:30 (late na yon for me, that day haha), and I was still wide awake and anxious. I still felt like a failure. I think I twisted the gospel and misused the name of the Holy Spirit. I was afraid. I asked Daddy for his grace and mercy over and over. ("Lord, I'm sorry... i'm sorry.. i'm sorry..") but I still felt unforgiven. Though I knew otherwise and Beks told me otherwise.
So then I asked that He give me peace. "At least for tonight, Lord." That I may sleep soundly that night.
Then, I gradually felt a great burden being lifted from my back. I breathed normally and realized my heartbeat had begun to slow down. And in a moment, I was finally able to doze off.
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Today, February 6, 2009:
I honestly cannot explain what happened to me yesterday and last night.
I feel bad.
I feel bad for not being able to speak up and speak more about the gospel. I feel bad for not being able to witness more to Myke. I feel bad that I wasn't able to reply to people last night. (Now you know.) I feel bad that I slept so late.

And yet I praise God.
Now that I think about it. God truly protected me yesterday.
Because, if I DID have an encounter with a demon-possesed person, the good Lord protected me. He did not remove His hand over me. Also, God spoke to me though that little experience I had yesterday. When I asked Him to lead my to my Holy Discontent, He wasn't kidding around. He opened my eyes to what my focus should be on, and that is to care for the lost.
Now, more than ever, I feel so vunerable. I know that the enemy is aware and he will do WHATEVER it takes so that the Lord's gospel will not advance. I feel that the enemy is out to get me. He's out to get everyone. And we, as God's children have to do something about it.

Our days are numbered. Will we all be ready for when the final hour comes? Would we have warned everyone we need to warn?
A Voice from Heaven cries out:

"On your feet, Deb. There is much work to be done."